Friday, February 1, 2013

August 28, 1656

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 After much weakness and sickness when my spirits were worn out, and many times my faith weak likewise, the Lord was pleased to uphold my drooping heart, and to manifest His love to me, and this is that which stays my soul that this condition that I am in is the best for me, for God doth not afflict willingly, nor take delight in grieving the children of men; He hath no benefit by my adversity, nor is He the better for my prosperity, but He doth it for my advantage, and that I may be a gainer by it. And if He knows that weakness and a frail body is the best to make me a vessel fit for His use why should I not bear it, not only willingly but joyfully? The Lord knows I dare not desire that health that sometimes I have had, lest my heart should be drawn from Him, and set upon the world.
Now I can wait, looking every day when my Savior shall call for me. Lord grant that while I live I may do that service I am able in this frail body, and be in continual expectation of my change, and let me never forget Thy great love to my soul so lately expressed, when I could lie down and bequeth my soul to Thee, and death seemed no terrible thing. O let me ever see Thee art invisible, and I shall not be unwilling to come, though by so rough a messenger. 
- from The Works of Anne Bradstreet 
On days like today, when I feel discouraged that my health is still not back to what it was, I have to remember these words of Anne Bradstreet and the fact that my ailments aren't terminal and that it's not the end of the world to be bloated everyday, even if it is really annoying.

Praying for total healing. 
Thanking God for a diagnosis
and still being diabetes free 
29 years after having most of my pancreas removed.

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