Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Friday, June 28, 2013

Everyone Loves a Bargain.

I have a few friends who are magnets for thrift store finds. Others are magnets for crazy on sale/clearance items. And a select few are magnets for winning stuff.

I am none of these.

At least, my deals and scores are fewer and farther between. So maybe that's why when I find a good bargain I'm elated and feel the need to call people and be all "Hey, just calling to say I bought this great thing for basically nothing." And this post is my call to you to say "Hey.... look what I just bought for an offensively low price!" Anyhoo... I am a huge  -  HUGE  - fan of the Volunteers of America thrift store a few cities over from us.  Now, remember that thrift stores are always hit or miss - sometimes you walk out with a jewel of an item, other times you spend an hour and walk out empty handed. But 4 out of the 5 times I've visited VoA, I've come out with the feeling that I just won the lottery. 

My first big find was a beautiful cherry wood antique side table with gorgeous curves and spindly legs for a room I was commissioned to decorate. It was $25 - a total steal. About a month later, when I needed a new pair of jeans, I found two pairs that looked and felt great for a grand total of .... $3. Three dollars for two pairs of jeans. That's crazy. 

One day when I went in just to kill time between appointments, I found a great satchel that will work perfectly as a second carry on for our flight to England - something bigger than a purse that will fit a book and some snacks on top of the essentials. It's funny when you're at a thrift store because suddenly your idea of a bargain becomes a bit narrower. For example, the great satchel's price tag said $4.99. And I stood there for a few minutes wondering if that seemed a bit pricey. Let's not forget that the original price was probably at least $30... but because it's at a thrift store... and maybe because my jeans were $0.99, I was trying to be shrewd. I decided to buy it since I really did need something for traveling and discovered at the cash register that it had been marked down to $1.99. BAM.

Today Tim mentioned that he needed a suit for the wedding we're attending in England. Oh you need a suit? VOLUNTEERS OF AMERICA, BABY! I knew it was a long shot, to try and find a classy suit in such a short period of time and at a limited inventory thrift store, but it was worth investigating. Both of us were hoping he'd find a grey three-piece suit - again decreasing our odds of success. I knew we couldn't afford for him to buy anything new even by Burlington Coat Factory standards (which isn't all that affordable anyways, I feel) but Tim did need something to wear to the wedding. So I said a prayer, asking God to help us find something we could afford at VoA. So let me review: Tim needs a suit for as close to $0 as possible, preferably a grey three-piece. And the Good Lord, because He is kind and generous, chose to bless us with exactly what we were looking for the amazing price of..........

 $5.99.


On top of that, he found a powder blue dress shirt to match (on sale for $2) and an additional suit coat from Gap. Of course, I couldn't help browsing the racks myself while he shopped. I was in the market for one last pair of jeans (skinny jeans, specifically) and also happened upon a great top originally from The Limited that will be perfect for the cooler British weather. You can also see my great satchel here:


For all these gems (3-piece suit, Gap suit coat, dress shirt, skinny jeans, satchel, Limited shirt) we paid less than $30. That's crazy! Shop second hand folks - as much as possible. You can save a bunch and feel like you won the lottery. Win win.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Things to Note.

Lessons + Observations:

- Never again order shoes online that don't offer free return shipping. Otherwise you end up paying half the price of the shoes in shipping.

- Don't self-diagnose a health concern via the internet, buy supplements and then decide you have a different issue altogether and buy more supplements on top of the ones you now don't need but already opened.

- On the brighter side, you can return almost anything - including nail polish that chips right away (something about neon colors....) Thank you Sally Beauty Supply for letting me exchange one that chips for one that doesn't.

- Being on a Paleo diet (another facet of my self-diagnosis) makes me appreciate things I shouldn't have (like coffee and the taste of chocolate) all the more. It also makes me crave it like an addict.

- Unlike watching t.v., I never feel like I'm wasting time when reading a good book.  Just finished A Walk Across the Sun by Corban Addison. Can't recommend enough.

- I like watching "Lady and the Tramp" as much now at 29 years of age as I did at 9. And I still wish I lived in the little town they show in the opening credits.

- Cell phones + cell phone plans will eat your bank account alive.

- Chip Ingram is so on the money when it comes to preaching the Word. Heard part of this sermon and can't wait to listen to the rest.


Friday, May 24, 2013

Music & Memories

OK folks - I've done a lot of thinking.  I don't want to write this blog so that I can feel good about myself or my house or my life.  I realize that when I show you how I decorated my house or the picture I took of my kids during a really idyllic moment I'm not accomplishing anything except feeding my pride. Plain and simple. So, we're done with that.  I just want to he honest and blunt (in the non-hurtful way) and make people laugh, or smile or think, or feel something. There is no joy or motivation in writing when I'm too concerned with how it will make me appear, or because I'm hoping to elicit praise or envy. And that's def. why I haven't posted for over a month. I do love interaction in the comments though - so please, if you have something to share, as always, please share it.

Anyways - I recently did a bit of spring cleaning which somehow stretched into my music collection. I almost never listen to music on my own these days, which is weird because I LOVE music. But I love to listen to music loud and I definitely prefer singing along at the top of my lungs especially in the car. However,  since I'm almost never alone in the car anymore and I can't get through a song without Jack putting in his two cents on which song he'd prefer we listen to - I've just sort of given up. But back to the main point here - so I'm going through my iTunes account deleting stuff I don't listen to anymore but also rekindling a love for lots of songs I just forgot about. And I found it interesting that certain songs have the power to stir up strong, specific memories like a mental time machine back to a very definite time and place. I know this is true for everyone. 

Tonight I had a playlist going of random songs I loved at one time or another and it was strange the mix of seasons in life they represented. I thought I'd share some of these songs and where they bring me back to, even if that's only really interesting to a few of you:

Other Side of the World by KT Tunstall - Very much THE song that I was obsessed with when I moved to England for a year in 2006. I listened to this all the time. Anytime it plays, I'm immediately back on a train heading into London wearing my infamous "Sexy Army" shoes, a brown sweater that I still own, with long dark hair, heavy bangs and the smell of this self-tanning lotion I used all the time while I was there wafting in the air.

Best for Last by Adele - I started listening to her around the time that I met Tim and we started dating. This song specifically reminds me of driving back and forth between our little dates. I liked this song so much I put it on a mixed cd for him. It reminds me of all my feelings of uncertainty (of whether he liked me) and excitement (when I knew he did).

Looking Glass by Sleepy Rebels - This is a really obscure band that I discovered a few years ago on some Indie music site.  I can't even listen to this song anymore because of the connotation it has with the Jonestown massacre. Weird, I know. For the longest time I always thought those "don't drink the Kool-aid" references had to do with a small group of people that all committed suicide together in a small room somewhere. Um, no. I later found out by watching a two hour documentary on the whole thing how wrong I was. I was so disturbed I cried all night and couldn't sleep. And then I was like obsessed with learning more details (I have a "need to know" complex). I'd call Tim crying and even more disturbed because I listened to one survivor's horrific tale. Tim had to forbid me from reading into it further. This song happened to be a favorite of mine at the time and ended up being the background music to me reading all about the horrors of Jonestown. So yeah. It totally gives me the creeps now. 

These Streets by Paolo Nutini - I lived in a place called the Isle of Man for three months at the end of 2006. It's a beautiful, peaceful island and every night at about 11 o'clock (sometimes as late as midnight) I'd go for a run and this song was always on the playlist. Looking back, that was a totally unsafe decision but hey, crime on that island was limited to stolen purses. I remember I was so used to this routine that when I moved back home the following year, I didn't think anything of going out for a run late one night until my parents came looking for me with flashlights and were seriously mad. It was 1 am, so fair enough but I was 23 at the time so... I didn't think I had a curfew!

Belief by John Mayer - Tim teases me that whenever any song from this album (Continuum) comes on, I tell him how it reminds me of the time I house-sat for a family I dearly love. I was there for a week and drove their car around which happened to have this cd in the player. But at the time I was also pretty depressed and was struggling with a serious eating disorder, so while I love this whole album, it tends to bring up mixed emotions and serves as a reminder of a very dark period in my life. 

Ordinary Day by Vanessa Carlton - Another song I can't handle anymore, but at the time it was what I'd listen to as I daydreamed about someone I had feelings for. The feelings were never returned so now it's just a symbol of some seriously painful unrequited love. Anytime it happens to come on, I'm brought back to the summer it was first popular and the ache of my pining heart.

Into Your Hideout by Pilate - This song was big when I was in college up in Ontario. While I don't have a specific memory related to this song, it always reminds me of my first year living off campus and the feeling of freedom that brought. I loved living with my friend Elektra at the time so the song is deeply rooted in a time in life that I would happily re-live!

Super Trouper by Abba - A song that brings me straight back to England, circa 1993. I can still picture being in the car with my mom en route to middle school, sitting at the exact intersection pictured below (Windsor/Oxford Road in Gerrards Cross). Abba's Greatest Hits was the soundtrack to my school commute for two years - and I loved this song the best, so I probably played it everyday. That and Michael Ball, who I'm sure you've never heard of.  We lived in England as a family from 93-95 and having cd players installed in the trunk of your car was the newest thing. Of course, that meant you tended to stick with the five or six cds it allowed and rarely changed them out. Thus our road trips were sound tracked exclusively by the greatest hit compilations of the very random following aritists: Cher, The Beatles, The Beach Boys, Chris Deburgh (the guy who sings "Lady in Red") and Sophie B. Hawkins.


Other defining sounds for seasons in my life:

High school : Backstreet Boys and Alanis Morrisette - a natural pairing, obviously! Haha.
College : Coldplay and David Gray - still classics.
Now: Anything Tim listens to because I'm too lazy to find new music on my own.

I WOULD LOVE IT if you'd share a song that brings up a very specific season of life or memory for you. Ready, set, GO!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

One Hundred Days

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We leave for England in 100 days.

By "we" I mean just Tim and I. It will be our first time away from the boys since Moses was born. And while I know I'm going to miss them (probably more than I realize) I know I'm also going to treasure my one on one time with Tim, which probably won't come again until, well, a long time from now. It's not everyday one of your best friends gets married in England and your parents offer to cover the cost of the flights (God bless them).

There's a part of me that never wants the day to come, so that I always have the joy of anticipating it's arrival. In the past - during the summers I was in college - I always returned with nervous excitement. I was single and free and there was nothing I wanted more than England. I graduated from college a year early to get there faster. At one point, England was all there was. That was the plan. It was the plan I had 7 years ago - visa in hand, job interview at the other end of the line. But of course, here I am. With a totally different story to tell. I never returned because God redirected my path and thank goodness He did because it led me to Tim and to two little boys who wouldn't be here otherwise.

But there is and always will be, I think, a little piece of my heart that stays on the other side of the Atlantic. England is like a first love that I can never forget nor can I help but be drawn to. And to come face to face with it again, after all these years, knowing full well that when those ten days are up I will have to say goodbye again breaks my heart a little.  Knowing that I will have to come home with my heart fresh and vulnerable. I think I'm making this sound all very over dramatic, but in my head it makes sense. I'm sure some of you are saying "Lady, just take your trip to England, appreciate it for the amazing opportunity that it is and stop finding reasons to complain" and to that I say - Amen.

It doesn't change the fact that for me this is more than a vacation. It's a return to a place and a dream that I put away a few years ago when I knew if I kept on yearning for it the way that I did that it would kill me. I'm scared to have to say goodbye all over again. To go through a period of longing to be back. I want to go and see and love and dream and then come home and love my kids and be happy to be home. Best case scenario. I have faith that God knows all these things and will keep my heart safe with Himself.

Below are snippets from a post I wrote while I lived in England in 2006. It is a piece of a day I hold close to my heart and my 22 year old self does a much better job of encapsulating the deep connection I feel to this place. Because of course, she was there. In the present and loving every minute of it:

Rewind to Saturday - approximately 12:40 in the afternoon. It's going to be a hot day. I'm on my way to Milton Keynes Central station with 9 minutes to spare before my train leaves the platform for London... I pass the time to Euston station by reading my book and listening to music as the scenery to my left blends into lines of green and blue. I'll never tire of watching this country from the vantage point of a passenger en route.  My favorite is from the clouds. There's nothing quite so captivating as observing England from a bird's eye view. The countryside becomes a patchwork of rolling fields and meadows, divided into lopsided squares by hedges and ambling lanes, and polka-dotted by sheep and cows and little houses and ponds. Sometimes I wonder if I come here just for that....just for those few minutes of all-seeing splendor; when it's all a silent masterpiece promising to offer me something it knows I may never find. That image, that aerial view that keeps me disconnected but filled with anticipation of touching down, is what I hold on to when I feel the dream slipping away.

"...Somewhere between Warren Street and Green Park, I begin to daydream and realize two minutes too late that I've missed my stop. Circling back, I finally arrive at Waterloo and as it's one of the National Rail connection points, it's much grander than your typical London underground station. I step into the heart of a thousand paths crossing all at once, and it looks like life in fast forward. It’s almost heavenly here, with the sun streaming through the glass ceiling into this wide open white space. But time is ever the burden and there’s art to be seen so I move out onto the street, only vaguely aware of the direction I need to head in. A crowd of boisterous males temporarily clogs the flow of pedestrians, drunk on beer and England's win against Paraguay in the World Cup match of the day. I'm still warming up to the excitement surrounding the tournament. At the moment, all I'm focused on is getting back to Oxford Circus before the shops close. 

...I pause outside Westminster station to take in the greatness of Big Ben - once again thrilled by the closeness and tangibility of it all. Moments later I'm plunged back into the belly of London's underground, hundreds of feet below the city streets. Here, everything moves in fast, parallel lines all headed up or down or sideways or backways. Passenger tunnels branch out in every which way, like a maze of rabbit holes, each leading to a new destination. Platforms are the only places where bodies stand still, if only in wait for the next journey onwards. The walls are peppered with brightly colored floor-to-ceiling adverts, while the train tunnels straddled at either end are a deep, smoky black abyss. Sometimes, if your eyes are quick enough, you can spy a mouse scurrying along the track line making its way, perhaps, to Paddington Station. 

...Back at Euston station, I settle into my seat on the 7:54 train to North Hampton. The journey home is cast in fading sunlight, and once more I abandon my book for the beauty outside my window. From a still, small place in the back of my mind, I carefully take out the plans that sit on the edge of December and slowly weigh the options in both hands. As always, I'm left with vague impressions. But for now, in this quiet moment of solitude, all that matters is that I'm here, now, witnessing life unfolding itself before me - and there's nowhere else I'd rather be."

- June 9, 2006

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

On True Life


Hi. I'm back. I don't know why I'm so uninspired to write these days. I think the challenge with blogs is the want to post about all the pleasantries of life (complete with lots of professional looking photographs) but there is a need for posts about what's really going on behind the scenes. Especially as a mom. It's easy to believe that many are living this really rosy, hipster-chic drinking iced tea from a Mason jar and eating organic yogurt with homemade granola from this bowl I carved with the knife I got in Europe while I watch the sunset over the pond by my cabin in the woods kind of life. And MAN would I love for that to be my reality all the time, but it simply isn't. It's natural to want to share pictures or posts of the happy, beautiful moments in your life - like the one above! With Instagram you can even make folding laundry look like the best moment of your day. And there's nothing wrong with that. But when that's primarily what everyone else is doing as well, it can easily make me feel like my life is dull or boring or hard. There's whole studies done on this topic:

Utah Valley University conducted research last year which indicated that people are becoming depressed after viewing Facebook. A sample of 425 undergraduate students was surveyed and for those who spent the most amount of time on Facebook, depression was more likely. Why? Those student perceived that others were happier and had a better life than they do. This phenomenon is known as “Facebook depression". (source)

Similar outcomes were found in a study done by Standford University:

By showcasing the most witty, joyful, bullet-pointed versions of people's lives, and inviting constant comparisons in which we tend to see ourselves as the losers, Facebook appears to exploit an Achilles' heel of human nature. And women—an especially unhappy bunch of late—may be especially vulnerable to keeping up with what they imagine is the happiness of the Joneses.

Facebook is, after all, characterized by the very public curation of one's assets in the form of friends, photos, biographical data, accomplishments, pithy observations, even the books we say we like. Look, we have baked beautiful cookies. We are playing with a new puppy. We are smiling in pictures (or, if we are moody, we are artfully moody.) Blandness will not do, and with some exceptions, sad stuff doesn't make the cut, either.

I think this can ring true for blogs as well. Don't get me wrong - I'm not trying to say people are lying, or that there's anything wrong with sharing pictures of the happy, beautiful moments in life. But it can make me feel alone in my struggles.  I've been reading this great book called Desperate: Hope For the Mom Who Needs to Breathe and I relate so much to what Sarah Mae, one of the co-authors, shares:

"The days became long and impossible. Taking care of my children was too hard. Being a good wife was too hard. Cleaning, creating life, living...was just too hard"     - Sarah Mae

"I've lain in bed too scared to get up and ruin another day - ruin my kids"    - Ann Voskamp (forward)

There's a lot I've found encouraging too, especially their perspective on what motherhood is supposed to be like rather than how we've been taught to approach it - primarily alone:

"Motherhood was meant to be experienced with other mothers, aunts, grandmothers, and a community of women sharing the load. Please do not attempt this alone!...Going at it alone is, without a doubt, one of those most common and effective strategies Satan uses to discourage moms...We are living in an isolationist culture today and have become accustomed to lonely living that God never intended us to experience. ..God made us for community and accountability and close friendship..Young moms were never meant to be without the advice and care of multiple women assisting them and advising them in their lives"      - Sally Clarkson (co-author)

To all these things I say "Yes!" and yet, it is so easy for all of us, no matter what our situation to feel ashamed to confess that we are struggling and need help. It's never easy to be vulnerable. And yet it's exactly what we need. Of course, we also need moments and memories that are joyful and photogenic because they remind us that there is always beauty to balance out the mess.

The point here is: Life's highlights are only highlights because of the shadows cast by our low points. It is right and good to celebrate eachother's highs, including our own. But it is seems to me that relationship and soul-bonding is almost always most deeply felt when we are willing to be vulnerable and relate to one another's lows.

So let's do that.

Friday, February 22, 2013

On Cosmetics.

Disclaimer : If you're a guy or you don't wear makeup, this post will bore you to tears. I don't spend a lot of time doing my makeup but I feel like I've learned a little bit about what's good and what's not and wanted to share it with those of you who care to know!

I've always loved doing my makeup. I think it's because I like to paint and color and shade and draw. And makeup is like a big box of crayons.  I've been wearing makeup since I was teenager, so I can only imagine the $$ I've spent trying different brands, shades etc.

My problem is - I always go for the cheap makeup that tends to look better in the packaging than it does on my face only to result in a hoard of cosmetics collecting dust in a corner of my bathroom cupboard. The problem with cheap makeup (anything in the $7 and under range) is that it looks cheap. It may look alright freshly applied, but a few hours in and everything has either faded or looks what I describe as "messy" - especially when it comes to cheap eyeshadow. The same could be said of cheap clothes - you get what you pay for. Spend the extra $$ and it tends to fit better and last longer than bargain brands.

Well I got to a point about a month ago where I felt like buying the cheapo brands was actually costing me more because I was having to replace it frequently, and there was a greater chance that after trying it out once I wouldn't want to use it again which equals total waste. One of my biggest gripes was with mascara - which tends to either clump and/or flake off throughout the day. I decided to try out some of Sephora's brand after falling in love with one of their products. I also had a gift card there from Christmas, so perfect. Turns out - going expensive isn't always the best either.

What I've learned is this:  

Covergirl and Mabeline ($5-7 range) are the best for your money brands in terms of affordable makeup. Anything that costs less than these brands is going to be pretty poor quality, even though its cheaper. L'Oreal's products ($9-11 range) are better quality for not much more money - at least in my experience. So now I generally skip CG and Mabelline and go for L'Oreal. Unless it something like a cover stick, in which case I go cheaper.

One thing to completely avoid are those all all-in-one makeup kits - you know, the ones with about 30 different shades of eyeshadow and 5 lip glosses.  Unless it's a high end brand it's definitely going to be super cheap quality and you'll never end up using it. I speak from experience here.

Speaking of experience, I don't know much about higher end brands like Chanel or Clinique. I've never been able to afford them but I assume they're better quality. A friend of mine has a tube of red Chanel lipstick and it always looks flawless. That said, one thing I learned the hard way that a higher price tag doesn't always equal significant difference in performance. But more on that in a minute.

For those of you who  are interested, here's what I'm currently using and why:


1. Foundation + Primer

I only use foundation (and spot stick) under my eyes so I'm not too picky when it comes to brands. I have a bottle of Covergirl Visalift that's a liquid foundation but it's a little too orangy for my pale skin, so I mix it with a lighter shade of a Covergirl spot stick.

I had one of my best friends do my makeup for my wedding day and I remarked on how flawless it looked the whole evening (like, no fading whatsoever). Turns out that the key to keeping eye makeup from fading is to use Eyeshadow Primer. This was my first "big" purchase when it came to makeup but it was worth it. A $20 tube of Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer (Sephora) will last one to two years depending on how frequently you use it.  I only use a tiny drop and don't use it on a daily basis so it's lasted me a long time.

2. Eyebrow Shadow + Tools

I only recently started using eyebrow shadow - in order to match my darker hair color - but I love the definition it brings to my very fair eyebrows.  I use Mirabella "Naked" shadow that I got on sale for $5 at my hair dresser's. I got the black eyebrow brush for $4 at Walgreens and I've had the blue brush (to smooth out the look) for ages. I think it's Mabelline and it's probably around $2.

3. Eyeshadow

I tend to stick to neutral colors when it comes to eyeshadow (brown + creme + peach tones) but occasionally I use Orange Facets that I got on sale for $3 at Sephora. The tri-color shadow was given to me by someone who wasn't using it and it's Wet n Wild brand - one I tend to never buy because the quality is almost always lacking. That said I only use a little bit of the middle rose tone to add some color and sheer.

I actually prefer using matte eyeshadows, as shimmer tends to fade or look messy after a couple of hours.  I love the neutral shade on the right (L'Oreal). It doesn't add color but it evens out the tone of your eyelid and highlights your eyeliner - my favorite part!

4. Mascara

Here's where I've had the hardest time finding what I like. My lashes are long but sparse and thin so I wanted something that plumped and filled out. The problem is, most mascaras that promise to plump also tend to clump. So that was my initial reason for switching to the more expensive brands. I saw a recommendation for Fiberwig Beautizer (at Sephora) which cost around $22 - triple the price of what I usually spend. But I had a gift card so I figured I'd try it. It was worse than my $5 tube. Thankfully Sephora accepts returns. This time I switched to They're Real (by Benefit at Sephora) which was around $28. So expensive. And it was good - it pretty much did what I was hoping and had a great brush, but I didn't think it was doing the job 5x better than a $5 brand. That's when I tried out Mabelline's newest mascara - The Rocket. It had a very similar brush and does the same, if not better, job of plumping and filling out as the almost $30 tube. So in this case, cheaper was more worth the money (though I've heard from a couple different sources that if you're willing to spend $30+, Dior makes really good mascara).

5. Blush + Cheek Stain

Tim doesn't think I need to wear blush, but I love the color it adds. Just a hint of rosiness. Right now I'm using a shade by Mabelline, but once that runs out I'll probably switch to L'Oreal because as I mentioned I tend to find their makeup better quality.

The only reason I even have this cheek stain is because I got a sample as a "birthday gift" from Sephora.  It's called Watt's Up! by Benefit and is more of a highlighter than a stain. But I like adding it to my cheek + brow bones for a bit of shimmer.

6. Eyeliner

I feel like eyeliner creates the most dramatic effect for me. In my experience, even after using eye primer, pencil liner almost always fades. So I decided to switch to liquid liner. I bought Lancome's Artliner in black (at Tim's request, though I prefer brown) from Sephora for around $22. Like the pricey mascara, it doesn't do the job that much better than cheaper brands of liquid liner but I used my gift card, so I didn't feel so bad. In the future I will stick with the gel pots (in the middle) that you apply with a special brush. It goes on just as nice as liquid liner and is also easier to apply under the eye. I use L'Oreals gel liner in Espresso ($9) and love it. Once the Lancome stuff runs out, I'll also probably get it in black.

7. Chapstick + Lipstick

Tim's obsessed with Burt's Bees, so naturally I use it too. I also like using Mabelline's Baby Lips if I want a quick moisturizer with a bit of color.  I didn't wear lipstick for a number of years, but then Tim and I were at the mall one day and passed an Avon counter that was offering two lipsticks for $10 and I went for it. I use a berry red color that I sometimes mix with a peachy color (by Mabelline) if I want to tone it down.

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Ok so this probably makes it seem like I take a lot of time to put on a lot of makeup. If you know me, you know I don't wear a lot of makeup - I tend to keep it subtle, which is what I prefer. I also heard years ago, that if it takes you more than 5 minutes to do your makeup, you're taking too long or wearing too much. I think I've kept to that 5 minute rule for many years and it works for me - not that there's anything wrong with taking more time.

Up until recently I never really gave makeup brands that much consideration, but when you think about it (if you are a woman who wears makeup) it's something you use everyday so it makes sense to buy wisely.
   
Do you have any brands or products you swear by?

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

February.

There's only 8 days left in February and so far I've posted once. I haven't felt as motivated to blog lately. I've said it once, and I'll say it again - reader participation really does help in wanting to keep the "conversation" going (hint, hint!). But it also comes down to a lack of energy to write out my thoughts into something worth reading.

In any case, here's a montage of everything I've thought about blogging about and never got around to it:

On us...

We celebrate four years of marriage this month!

Tim is a month into his second semester at CSU. I'm liking his new schedule because it allows him more time at home, though we know we need to be careful in setting aside blocks of time for him to study. If all goes according to plan, he should have his English degree at the end of this year. We are so grateful for this time together, knowing that once he has a full time job all of that will change. We are so blessed. We are also so thankful that he has been healed by God of his chronic, intense, all-over joint pain through the use of magnet/infrared therapy. Sounds crazy I know, but it worked for him!

I am still enjoying my time at home with the boys, though cabin fever is beginning to take it's toll. I find myself losing my patience more and my tendency to yell increasing. Being indoors all the time with two active boys is challenging, both mentally and physically. Sometimes I feel like a caged animal.Facing all my health challenges has definitely added to my frustrations, but these seem to be on the upswing (praise the Lord!) so I'm hopeful. I truly can not wait for spring to be here so we can break out of winter hibernation. That all said, I count it a privilege to be a stay at home mom and I will always choose raising them myself versus another career path.

This year holds a lot of exciting things, including Tim graduating, new and exciting ventures, getting to go back to England (I can't wait!), returning to Goderich, and possibly trying for Baby # 3 - but not until the fall/winter and only if my health is stable.

On faith....

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So thankful that God is bringing us into a new and better understanding of the Gospel message and that His
G R A C E is so key, so YES! I am praising God today that for the first time in a long time I have the assurance of salvation and I can stand and say with C E R T A I N T Y that I am saved and that it is by the blood of Christ alone shed for me! How could I ever let that be taken from me? And not only that but the joy that is found in the Lord, the freedom from not being under the Law, and the deep, unending love of God for me? What Tim and I both hunger for is more of the joy of the Lord and a deeper understanding of the depth of His love for us. To truly believe those words in Zephaniah that declare:

"The Lord your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love He will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing."

I think we have been lacking in certain areas because we doubted His love for us, his boundless compassion and forgiveness - that even on our worst days, when our obedience to His commands was left wanting, we were never beyond the reach of His grace. God IS jealous for our hearts and DOES love us passionately. Why is that so hard for me to receive? Being in His Word (which I have always struggled with) is helping every day to know Him more. From my study of the Old Testament, I'm learning that the character of God is F A I T H F U L and P A T I E N T.  The picture of having a heart of stone these past several years keeps coming to mind, and of God breathing L I F E back into my spirit makes me think of Ezekial 11:19:

"I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them;
I will remove from them a heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh." 


I am excited as we move forward into old Truths that have become new again. I pray these Truths continue to transform our hearts and renew our minds.

On the boys....

 
They both fell in love with Raffi through watching this concert on youtube. God bless that man. His presence and song create the proverbial happy place for young and old alike. I grew up loving his music and I'm so glad my boys love him too. Here they are watching together on the living room floor. It twas short lived, but sweet nonetheless.

Individually, 
Jack is pushing all my buttons lately. Maybe it's because we took away his naps so that he'd go to bed at night without a fuss (and by fuss I mean getting up every few minutes for an hour and a half after bed time), but man is that little guy feisty these days. His new thing is saying "But...." followed by some sort of argument as to why he should or shouldn't be doing somethingSo frustrating. I know he's only two and a half, but he has the communication skills of a four year old, so I tend to expect more maturity out of him than maybe I should. Figuring out this parenting thing is exhausting and I'm so keenly aware that my anger and impatience is not helping anything. I asked Jack the other night what I could do to be a better mom to him and he said "Play." So true. I admit I have a short attention span for toddler games. Plus, I think we're all overtired which just makes room for more crying (including me!) That all said, I'm daily blown away by how bright and attentive Jack is. That he's sweet, generous and thoughtful. He verbalizes his love and is quick to compliment. And he's a good little boy. This past weekend a lady came up to me while we were out for ice cream to tell me how thankful she was to see children like Jack who were well behaved.  I'm grateful she took the time to share that with me.

Moses (Bobes, more often) is getting into everything now that he's mobile and almost walking. He's taken about five steps, but tends to prefer crawling. If you scold him when he's touching something he shouldn't, he gives you a crooked little grin and then does it again. Oi ve. But I know there's not real mischevious nature behind it, just a playful nature. Moses has the best laugh once you get him going - it's right from the belly. I look foward to the day where he and I can have a conversation and he and Jack can be eachother's best friend.

The end.

Friday, February 1, 2013

August 28, 1656


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 After much weakness and sickness when my spirits were worn out, and many times my faith weak likewise, the Lord was pleased to uphold my drooping heart, and to manifest His love to me, and this is that which stays my soul that this condition that I am in is the best for me, for God doth not afflict willingly, nor take delight in grieving the children of men; He hath no benefit by my adversity, nor is He the better for my prosperity, but He doth it for my advantage, and that I may be a gainer by it. And if He knows that weakness and a frail body is the best to make me a vessel fit for His use why should I not bear it, not only willingly but joyfully? The Lord knows I dare not desire that health that sometimes I have had, lest my heart should be drawn from Him, and set upon the world.
Now I can wait, looking every day when my Savior shall call for me. Lord grant that while I live I may do that service I am able in this frail body, and be in continual expectation of my change, and let me never forget Thy great love to my soul so lately expressed, when I could lie down and bequeth my soul to Thee, and death seemed no terrible thing. O let me ever see Thee art invisible, and I shall not be unwilling to come, though by so rough a messenger. 
- from The Works of Anne Bradstreet 
On days like today, when I feel discouraged that my health is still not back to what it was, I have to remember these words of Anne Bradstreet and the fact that my ailments aren't terminal and that it's not the end of the world to be bloated everyday, even if it is really annoying.

Praying for total healing. 
Thanking God for a diagnosis
and still being diabetes free 
29 years after having most of my pancreas removed.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

West Side Market


Last week we visited the West Side Market with some friends. I tend to find Cleveland lacking in (free) interesting places to visit and things to do, but the West Side Market is one place that I never tire of visiting - even if it's mostly a bunch of meat stalls.

In the past we've gotten delicious cheeses, amazing bacon and super cheap fruit from the vendors. This time we bought some apple fritters, shared a dark chocolate and strawberry crepe and finally tried one of Steve's Gyros - which was voted best gyro in the country by Maxim Magazine and was featured on the Travel Channel's Man vs. Food. I don't think I've ever had a gyro before, but this one was enormous even split between Tim and I. And yes, it was good. I mean, I wouldn't rave about it - but it was worth the $7.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Moses' Birthday

I remember having big plans for Jack's birthday: lots of decorations + good food + guests.  But then I was faced with the cost of feeding a large group of people and suddenly it seemed a bit unrealistic. The paper products alone cost about $50, and when all was said and done the total expenses for the party were over $100. And Jack doesn't even remember the event so... lesson learned.

So as much I was would have LOVED to have everyone that is special to us attend our celebration of Moses' first year of life, I knew it wasn't practical considering we are so tight on money these days. Instead we chose to keep it very simple with only family and our church small group in attendance. We kept it inexpensive by keeping decorations limited to one, lone "Happy Birthday" sign and using leftover plates and napkins from Jack's birthday. My mom wanted to provide something small for the little guests, so she filled these paper bags with some goodies and I decorated them.


My mom also let us host the party at her house and offered to buy the birthday cake and some refreshments. Tim's mom provided almost all the food - which was amazing - aside from some egg salad we made and some delish coleslaw I asked my sister bring. Basically, all we spent on the party was the cost of a carton of eggs.

Frivolities aside, between delicious food, the cake and the gift opening I think Moses enjoyed himself. So much so that promptly after opening his gifts he went down for a nap.

Sounds like a perfect birthday to me!


Monday, January 7, 2013

Moses is One (almost)

It's not Moses's birthday until Saturday,
but I wanted to write this now before time + opportunity got away from me.


Dear Moses,

It seems as if you've always been a part of us, so it's strange to think that it's been a mere 12 months since we welcomed you into this world.

I remember your birth day was so unlike your brother's in that, because the experience of giving birth wasn't new, I was filled with peace instead of fear and confidence instead of concern. Of course, from your point of view the whole process was completely reason for fear, concern and outright anger. So upset were you by the way you were handled in the first few moments of life, you turned blue with rage and it took over an hour to calm you down. I promise had I not been laying paralyzed on an operating table, I would have done everything in my power to soothe your worried soul.

Since then you have become a pretty easy going, happy little guy. You are such a sweetheart, Bobes (who would have thought, thanks to Jack, that this nickname would stick.) We love your big smile and your sweet yet sensitive soul, your big blue eyes and your big adorable front teeth. You captured my heart in a way I never expected and I love that you're my baby. I often say to your dad that I would prefer if you just stayed the size you are now so I could cuddle you for always.

As we approach your first birthday, you are also approaching some other milestones. Not only are you catching up to your big brother in size (he better watch out!) you're also on the cusp of taking your first steps and perhaps even saying your first word. You just learned how to clap which is adorable. You love to play with toys, especially ones with lights and sounds. You love to eat a large variety of food and usually clean your plate; your favorite snacks are clementine oranges and crackers. You like to scoot around in your walker and tend to zero in on all the objects you aren't supposed to touch. When we tell you "no" you turn to look at us and then a little mischievous grin spreads across your face before you carry on with your naughtiness.  What a guy!

I can't wait to watch you grow into a little boy so I can hear what you have to say and watch you interact with our family - especially Jack. I also can't wait to read books together and play games and everything else that comes with having two little boys.

But for now, I am thankful for who you are, just as you are - my one year old little baby. I cherish all my cuddles with you and the way you press your head into my shoulder or cling to my arm, or smile when you see me. I love that you love me and I love that you are my baby and I am your mother.

God has so very much blessed us with your sweet little soul. I pray that He continues to protect you and bless you, that you come to love Him and that you one day receive His Son as your Lord and Savior. I pray that you learn to walk in His ways and that you grow to be a man after God's own heart.

I love you little man. 
You are such a miracle.


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Twenty Thirteen

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2012, much like 2011, was  a roller coaster year full of ups and downs. At times it brought me great joy as well as great strife and sorrow. 2013 holds the same promise of both good days and not so good days, of heartache and laughter. Of a much anticipated trip to England but also continued stress with finances and health issues. And while I'm bracing myself for the bumpy road ahead, I still wanted to make room for some yearly goals.

My goals from this past year were simple and Lord-willing I was able to accomplish all of them satisfactorily. I still struggle in the area of being in the Word, and I didn't actually finish an unread book of the Bible, but I am closely studying the book of Genesis now (rather than just reading through it) as a result of joining Bible Study Fellowship International.

My resolutions for 2013 are still simple in nature but are a little more weighty in heart and are meant to have results that last a lifetime, not just a year.

1} Live out Mark 12:30. Jesus pins this as the Greatest Commandment of them all, and until recently I never really considered what it means to live that out intentionally. What does it look like to love God with all my mind, my heart, my soul and my strength? I'm going to spend this next year finding out and then do my very best to live it out fully.

2} Purse true health. I think I commit to this every year, but this time it's without the goal of losing weight. I want to feel healthier.  I don't know if being truly healthy means being vegan (as I've been practicing),  but I know I want to apply clean eating to my life as much as time and resources allow me. This also means drinking lots of water, getting enough rest and getting up early to exercise. While I can't control some of the health issues I'm facing, I hope that by doing these things, I will return to better health.

3} Spend less time online. I want to be present and not so connected to what everyone else is doing via Facebook. No, I'm not going to delete my account (I've tried that) But I am going to do my best to limit the number of times I log on and the number of people I follow on it.

4} Sing more. I've been singing in front of people (at church) for about 5 years now but since changing churches I never joined the worship team. Singing is something that brings me great purpose and fulfillment and joy and I hope to expand my opportunities to sing, whether it's at a coffee shop or by starting a worship night with some friends.

5} Play more. With my kids that is. Care less about a tidy house and more about creating memories. Even if that means getting messy with finger paint or acting like a complete weirdo. Life is too short to take it so seriously, and I know my boys would love it if every day were a dance party. Plus I'm pretty sure it would my heart some good.

The theme here, it seems, is to live life wholeheartedly. To be present in the moment without distraction.  Something I tend not to do.

So here's to 2013 - 
may it be a year of joy and peace
and loving God fully.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

And the Winner is.....


This color won by a landslide. 

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Best Day of the Year

 "It's just awesome. I just love that day." 

That's what Tim said after we got home from Nature Bin's Customer Appreciation Day. Nature's Bin is a small, independent grocery store around the corner from our house. They sell lots of organic, healthy food/products so they're a bit pricey but occasionally we shop there for specialty stuff. And on Customer Appreciation Day, they hand out a ton of free samples.

This is a day that we look forward to all year. Literally. We even write it on our calendar. It's all because of the free swag. And it's quality products - the kind of stuff we usually wouldn't buy because they're expensive. Sure the samples are in doll-size bottles, but again, free. Not to mention the fact that they have little bowls set up throughout the store of food products you can taste. Here's a visual of everything we picked up this year:


Ok, so looking at it now, not all that impressive. But when you write it out, it's pretty great, right?:

We got free samples of:

chapstick
dishwashing liquid
chips
popcorn
toothpaste
tea
kitchen utensils
burts bees lotion
vitamins
nail files
energy drinks
dog treats (we left those)
chocolate covered peanuts
sesame sticks
protein bars
granola bars
energy snacks
vanilla chai green tea raisins
cooking utensils (!) 
cookies
cider
apples
laundry detergent

Ugh, this post is making feel really ridiculous for getting so excited about a bunch of tiny samples. It's like getting excited over the free shampoo/conditioner in hotels. Well anyways, we like it ok. 

We're a simple folk, what can I say.



Sunday, October 21, 2012

Stay the Course or Take a HUGE Risk?

The title of this post makes it sound like I'm about to expound on a serious life issue in need of direction and wisdom. Like moving to a new country. Or taking on a new career. Or .....

False. This post is completely the opposite and is all about what color I should dye my hair, if at all. It should really be titled "The Story of My Hair" but I didn't know if anyone would want to read that. So instead I tricked you. Here's the deal: My friend Ellie gave me a little card about a year ago for $20 off any service at this nice salon she goes to. Being that we're poor and Tim's aunt cuts my hair for free, I held off using it because nothing's cheaper than a free hair cut.

But lately my hair has been wanting. I used to be able to go to bed with it wet and in the morning I'd wake up with perfect, beautiful waves (I know, so amazing). Here's an example from when Tim and I first started dating when my hair was in it's prime - great color, great shape, great volume:


It stayed like this until I decided to grow my bangs out for our wedding so that it would be easier to style. I'm pretty sure that's where things started to go downhill. Of course, day of it looked gorg. But as soon as the wedding was over, my hair totally went on strike (see below):


So what do you do when your hair goes on strike? 
And on your honeymoon, nonetheless? 
Wear lots of hats.


But that got old pretty fast. Not to mention "hat hair." So I did something drastic - I cut my hair and brought back the bangs. But just like when you microwave a day old piece of pizza, it just didn't turn out the same. Don't let this "good hair" image mislead you - I'd cut my bangs crooked and way too short. As you can see, Tim also got a hair cut (understatement).


The photo above marks the beginning of the end of a good relationship with my hair. About five months later, I got pregnant with Jack and decided to stop coloring it (for "safety" reasons). This is what it looked like for the majority of my pregnancy (photo on left) and then about four months after giving birth (photo on the right). As you can see, this is my natural hair color:


Now most people see my natural color and they implore me not to change it because "People pay good money to try and dye their hair your color." Well, I don't know what to say except it doesn't give me any thrills. It always looks kind of blah to me. Oh, and don't forget I've now had two babies - and those pregnancy hormones are not kind to a woman's hair. They take the life out of it.

So here we are, present day, and I finally decide to use that $20 coupon because every now and then a girl and her hair need a trip to the salon (and since I got a dry cut they only charged me $20 which meant it was free, aside from the $4 tip!). My hairstylist, Emily, seemed to relate to my hair woes (apparently we have the same hair type) and also did a great job of up-selling me to come back this Thursday to get my hair colored. Ok, so maybe I made it a little too easy by talking about how much I loved her hair color (vibrant copper) and how bored I was with mine. The dilemma is - which way do I go? Originally, I was just going to go back to old faithful - chestnut brown. It's tried and true, I know I like it. But then there's the adventurous side of me that wants to do the complete opposite and go that great copper route. Maybe not all over copper - I think that might be a little too adventurous. Not to mention, if I pay salon prices to dye it and then I hate it, I'll kick myself. So maybe just copper highlights? Let's look at some pictures to aid in this decision:

My current hair color:

What it looks like dark brown:


Variations of copper:


The hair color on the left - extreme. Beautiful on this girl, but probably won't translate well on me. At least, I'm not confident. I love the color, but I think I'd end up looking like Ronald McDonald. The hair color in the middle is pretty similar to what my hairstylists was. Again, this would be a pretty extreme color for me to jump to - but maybe just get highlights of this color? The hair on the right is actually my favorite - it's soft and warm and I love that she has brown low lights on the bottom. However if I copied this it would probably be expensive (I'd be using two different colors) plus it might not be enough of a change that you'd really notice a difference (not worth the money). As you can see, this is such a serious, serious thing for me to consider!

Actually, it's so not. And despite the length of this post, I actually don't spend too much mental energy trying to decide what to do with my hair. However, my appointment is this Thursday, and since I'm going to a wedding on Friday I really don't want to mess this up.

So now is your opportunity weigh in and give me your votes on what you think I should do!
Since first posting this, Tim has said this was the color he had in mind. Thoughts?





Saturday, October 20, 2012

Our Dream House

There was a time when I said I would never buy a house. I love to travel and renting just always seemed to lend itself better to getting up and going, whereas a mortgage tied you down.

And then I had kids. And those kids were boys. And boys need the outdoors. The city we live in doesn't offer much to renters in the way of outdoor space - and we have almost nothing. Our backyard is a postage stamp of weeds and dirt and spider-filled ivy.  There's also an old box of spices (?) that someone left back there and some rotting wood palettes. Not exactly the ideal - unless your a little boy and then it sounds great. But as a mother, no.

All that to say, I dream of the day I can send the boys outside into a safe, fenced in backyard where they can play for hours in the fresh air. I mean, don't get me wrong - we love our current apartment and are so grateful for it and our landlord (my brother-in-law!) but I think like most families, we now see the benefit of being home owners (as well as the expense, womp womp). Oh, and we're also mega House Hunters fans, so we've been plotting our appearance on the show with our "must haves" list at the ready which, I might add, does not include a kitchen with granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances or double sinks in the bathroom. In fact, we wrote down a list of what we'd look for after watching a House Hunters marathon. It'll be years (years) before we'll be able to even consider buying a home, but here's what we came up with:

We're definitely Craftsman style home kind of people. 
Here's an example of what we like when it comes to curb appeal:

We love smaller homes with big porches and lots of unique detail. Nothing over the top, but something that looks and feels classic but homey. I love when exteriors incorporate natural elements like stone and wood. And I do love a house with a red front door. In short form, here's what else we would look for:


Must haves:

Good neighborhood (location, location location!)
Lots of character
3-4 bedrooms
1.5-2 bathrooms
Nice backyard (with fence, or possibility of fence)
Lots of storage
Garage (preferably attached)
Central air + newer furnace
Newer roof
Decent counter/cupboard space in kitchen
Fairly move in ready (no major renovations needed)

Nice to haves:

En suite bathroom in master (with large tub! I love spa tubs)
Close to park or water
Laundry room
Space for playroom
Dishwasher
Wood burning fireplace
Larger family space
Eat-in kitchen
Hardwood floors 
Newer appliances
Attractive landscaping

Don't want:

Wood paneling
Fixer upper
Hideous carpet
Wasted space (i.e. formal sitting room)
Massive backyard (too much work!)
Ugly flooring or counter tops
On busy street

I feel like we're pretty down to earth when it comes to what we look for - we're not super picky. But then again, I really do base decisions on the "feel" of something, so maybe we would turn out to be really annoying House Hunters. You know, the ones on the show whose real estate agent looks into the camera and says "I've shown them over 50 homes. They just aren't being realistic about what's available in their price range." In any case, I can't wait to meet our first house - a long time from now!


What about you? What do you look for in a home?
If you already own a home, what's your favorite feature(s)?


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