The Story of Mother's Day (with videos)

Dear Jack,

For Mother's Day this year I received no gift from you. I was also not at the receiving end of any acts of service (breakfast in bed would have been nice). It's ok, I forgive you in light of these circumstances:

1. Your brother also failed in these departments.
2. You are only two and have yet to learn the functions of a stovetop.
3. Someday in the near future, you and your brother will consider Mother's Day to be the best day of the year (as all children do) and will respond accordingly.

However, May 13 wasn't a total bust thanks to your kind and loving father who made sure I need not lift my little finger too often. After he made us all a delicious dinner, we decided to go to the park because the weather was nice and a family outting seemed appropriate for the occasion (it was Mother's Day, in case you've already forgotten). When we got there, you spent the first five minutes getting across the wobbly bridge - as it turns out you are a very cautious child when it comes to playground equipment. 

After this video was shot, you stood around for a long time not doing anything. It got very boring. I mean, here we are at the park, it's Mother's Day (!) and you aren't even trying to pretend to have fun. What's up with that? Well apparently, it was because you were trying to have a bowel movement (yes, I caught it on video and you were not impressed). 

So after standing there for a good few minutes, wind blowing through your hair, silently gripping the bars for some leverage with a blank but flushed look on your face (concentration), you finally finished your business and decided you'd like to try out the rest of the place. In case you were wondering what your brother was doing the whole time we were at the playground...

He was making his serious face. Then he blinked. Then he made his serious face some more. 

I feel like this last video here really says it all about how much you and Daddy love me:

1. Because Daddy really didn't want to go down this slide but did just to humor me.
2. You went down while sitting in your own poo. 

Here's to many more special Mother's Days together!
(this post, if you couldn't tell, is all very tongue in cheek)

The Bad Honey and The Old Pancake Mix

Let me just preface this story by pointing out that Tim has been suffering with a lot of intense muscle/joint pain lately and the last thing he needed were the following incidents, but such is life!

Offense #1: The Bad Honey

A while back, Tim mentioned we needed to buy more honey. I pointed out that we had an unopened container of creamed honey (the solidified, spreadable kind) so we should use that first. Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I receive a text from him at work saying, "I think that honey we have has gone bad." I didn't think honey could go bad, so I asked why. "Because I had some for breakfast and I've thrown up five times this morning." Now keep in mind he'd only been gone a few hours, so that's pretty intense. Thinking I better check out the suspect honey, I grab the container down from the shelf and see to my horror that the honey that was once a solid is now completely liquified. My sister, who was with me at the time, also noticed the lid was puffed up which usually signals the presence of bacteria. No wonder, since it was not a new, unopened containter but an old, half used container that had been sitting down in the basement pantry for months. So of course I start freaking out, thinking I accidently fed my husband botchulism-infested honey and called posion control. They assured me he'd be fine.

Turns out (as he later reccounted) that the first time he threw up, he was sitting in the company truck, with his foreman, on the highway. He had to just roll down the window and barf in front of him. I found this hilarious.

And then, a similar thing happened just a few days ago - what are the chances?!

Offense #2: The Old Pancake Batter

We recently switched to a whole foods, plant-based, no-oils diet. I know, it sounds crazy. But I explain a little bit about why we made the switch here.  Needless to say, we're still experimenting with different recipes and for Tim's birthday (May 9) I decided to try and make him pancakes. Working without eggs was easy enough, but not having oil for the pan caused some issues in the flipping and sticking department. I ended up with one half successful pancake that tasted mildly like a good pancake on an ok day. However, I decided to save the batter until we owned a better non-stick pan. Because everyone knows pancake batter lasts a long time.....I think you know where I'm going with this.

A few nights ago, Tim made potato tacos with refried beans. There was quite a bit leftover so he decided to take some for lunch the next day. But instead of pouring what he thought were the refried beans on top of his potatoes, he accidently used the now week old, not good to begin with pancake batter. How he couldn't tell the difference between the two is beyond me, but as it turns out he ate the whole thing anyways with the sense that something just didn't taste right. Let me just say that again - Tim ate a whole serving of potatoes with old pancake batter poured on top. It made him throw up after work (once again, while he was in a car). Of course, we didn't figure out why until the next day when he heated the "refried beans" up in the microwave and ended up with a rubbery pancake. 

I told my sister this story last night and we laughed till we cried. And when I got off the phone and looked at Tim, I laughed until no noise was coming out of my mouth and I was out of air.

Americans on Canadians.

Per my last post, here is an example of double satire that is in fact... very funny. Coincidentally, there are even a couple of references to pancakes!

"I'm Only Helping"

Tonight we finally got together with the Foxes and Bradfords and it was so refreshing to see these old, dear friends of ours. Since having Jack, I could count on one hand how many times we've collectively gotten together with either couple. This makes us very sad, so it was high time we got together again.


We all met at Dewey's where I ate two delicious slices of pepperoni pizza and Jack did his very best to not pass out from the effects of Tylenol for his achin' gums. Back at the old a.p.t. we compared our favorite youtube videos (ours being amazing race watermelon to the face and sound of music flash mob) and played a boys vs girls best out of three euchre tournament with the B-fords - girls won, naturally. The following was also introduced to us tonight by Ashley, which for whatever reason had me bent over with laughter every time I watched it (which was more than a few times). I'm laughing now. It's THAT funny to me.