That One Time Moses....

Well, it finally happened. 

I've been barfed on.

See this Starbucks cup?

A few nights ago it was filled with a delicious latte for Tim (and me, a little). 

Several hours later it served as a mini vomitorium.

Who could have known.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

It all began at midnight when Moses woke up crying and on all fours in his crib. I just knew as soon as I picked him up that he was about to throw up and sure enough out it came, all over the front of my dress. Tim had already gone to bed so I quickly woke him up to assist in crisis management. He was just as flustered as I was - probably more so from being woken up - and just kept saying "What should I do?" as I continued to hold a crying, barfing Moses. Except I was just as clueless as he was - even though it's not the first time Moses has barfed, it was the first time there was barf in the sink, on Moses, in a towel and on me. 

So for the next 30 minutes I sat with Moses while he watched Shaun the Sheep and very calmly barfed into the Starbucks cup without taking his eyes off the t.v. Strange, but I wasn't complaining.  After his system calmed down I put him back to bed and began cleaning up the mess. Whether I woke Tim up to help or he woke up on his own I can't remember but nevertheless he appeared with a willingness to assist.  Since I had a lot of soiled wet wipes and a seriously offensive Starbucks cup to dispose of, I asked him if he could grab me a plastic bag. He came back from the kitchen grasping a giant pile of Ziplock sandwich bags. *shakes head* I don't even know. I'll blame it on his being half asleep. 

By morning, Moses was himself and I was proud of how well I'd handled being barfed on - something I've been dreading! I think it must be the adrenaline that courses through your brain and body as you try to comfort and contain the mess that comes from a crying child who doesn't understand why food is spewing from his mouth. 

All in all, not as traumatizing an event as I was expecting.

Next time I'll be prepared with Starbucks cup at the ready.

On Smart Phones

I held off as long as possible, but it was only a matter of time before I succumbed to getting a smart phone. They are a complete and utter time-suck, not to mention expensive. But after both of our phones stopped being able to receive texts from people with iPhones, it got to be annoying and we knew it was time to upgrade. So after much research we settled on the Droid 2. Is it just me or does the name Droid conjure up thoughts of all those robot movies where they develop a will of their own and annihilate civilization?

Anyways, I was just thankful that we got to keep our no-contract plan with PagePlus Cellular (only $60 a month total for both of us!) and that the phones themselves were reasonably priced considering phones out of contract can cost around $300-400 on average.

Naturally, the best part about a smart phone is the apps. Including.. Instagram. The same Instagram I referenced in my last post. And this even better picture app called Aviary. Ok, I promise I won't take pictures of my nicely folded laundry and make you think that my day is going way better than yours. But I do love to use it to take pictures of the boys:

And in the true spirit of keeping things in perspective, here's what else happened behind the scenes of these serene moments:

Jack and Moses both keep pooping. I mean, like all day. Just pooping. At one point, a turd fell out of Moses's diaper, down the leg of his pants and onto the dining room floor. I didn't see it happening in real time, but I knew right away what I was looking at when I spotted something on the floor from across the room. We're thinking the influx of feces was caused by swallowing some pool water yesterday when we were swimming. Whatever the reason, it's gross and messy. And while it's convenient Jack is potty trained (less diapers to change) Tim said he almost barfed when he had to..... ok, I'm sure you get the picture. Yesterday and today have been good days, but there's also been lots of poop.

February.

There's only 8 days left in February and so far I've posted once. I haven't felt as motivated to blog lately. I've said it once, and I'll say it again - reader participation really does help in wanting to keep the "conversation" going (hint, hint!). But it also comes down to a lack of energy to write out my thoughts into something worth reading.

In any case, here's a montage of everything I've thought about blogging about and never got around to it:

On us...

 

We celebrate four years of marriage this month!

Tim is a month into his second semester at CSU. I'm liking his new schedule because it allows him more time at home, though we know we need to be careful in setting aside blocks of time for him to study. If all goes according to plan, he should have his English degree at the end of this year. We are so grateful for this time together, knowing that once he has a full time job all of that will change. We are so blessed. We are also so thankful that he has been healed by God of his chronic, intense, all-over joint pain through the use of magnet/infrared therapy. Sounds crazy I know, but it worked for him!

I am still enjoying my time at home with the boys, though cabin fever is beginning to take it's toll. I find myself losing my patience more and my tendency to yell increasing. Being indoors all the time with two active boys is challenging, both mentally and physically. Sometimes I feel like a caged animal.Facing all my health challenges has definitely added to my frustrations, but these seem to be on the upswing (praise the Lord!) so I'm hopeful. I truly can not wait for spring to be here so we can break out of winter hibernation. That all said, I count it a privilege to be a stay at home mom and I will always choose raising them myself versus another career path.

This year holds a lot of exciting things, including Tim graduating, new and exciting ventures, getting to go back to England (I can't wait!), returning to Goderich, and possibly trying for Baby # 3 - but not until the fall/winter and only if my health is stable.

On faith....

source

So thankful that God is bringing us into a new and better understanding of the Gospel message and that His
G R A C E is so key, so YES! I am praising God today that for the first time in a long time I have the assurance of salvation and I can stand and say with C E R T A I N T Y that I am saved and that it is by the blood of Christ alone shed for me! How could I ever let that be taken from me? And not only that but the joy that is found in the Lord, the freedom from not being under the Law, and the deep, unending love of God for me? What Tim and I both hunger for is more of the joy of the Lord and a deeper understanding of the depth of His love for us. To truly believe those words in Zephaniah that declare:

"The Lord your God is with you,

the Mighty Warrior who saves.

He will take great delight in you;

in his love He will no longer rebuke you,

but will rejoice over you with singing."

I think we have been lacking in certain areas because we doubted His love for us, his boundless compassion and forgiveness - that even on our worst days, when our obedience to His commands was left wanting, we were never beyond the reach of His grace. God IS jealous for our hearts and DOES love us passionately. Why is that so hard for me to receive? Being in His Word (which I have always struggled with) is helping every day to know Him more. From my study of the Old Testament, I'm learning that the character of God is F A I T H F U L and P A T I E N T.  The picture of having a heart of stone these past several years keeps coming to mind, and of God breathing L I F E back into my spirit makes me think of Ezekial 11:19:

"I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them;
I will remove from them a heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh." 

I am excited as we move forward into old Truths that have become new again. I pray these Truths continue to transform our hearts and renew our minds.

On the boys....

 

They both fell in love with Raffi through watching this concert on youtube. God bless that man. His presence and song create the proverbial happy place for young and old alike. I grew up loving his music and I'm so glad my boys love him too. Here they are watching together on the living room floor. It twas short lived, but sweet nonetheless.

Individually, 

Jack is pushing all my buttons lately. Maybe it's because we took away his naps so that he'd go to bed at night without a fuss (and by fuss I mean getting up every few minutes for an hour and a half after bed time), but man is that little guy feisty these days. His new thing is saying "But...." followed by some sort of argument as to why he should or shouldn't be doing something.  So frustrating. I know he's only two and a half, but he has the communication skills of a four year old, so I tend to expect more maturity out of him than maybe I should. Figuring out this parenting thing is exhausting and I'm so keenly aware that my anger and impatience is not helping anything. I asked Jack the other night what I could do to be a better mom to him and he said "Play." So true. I admit I have a short attention span for toddler games. Plus, I think we're all overtired which just makes room for more crying (including me!) That all said, I'm daily blown away by how bright and attentive Jack is. That he's sweet, generous and thoughtful. He verbalizes his love and is quick to compliment. And he's a good little boy. This past weekend a lady came up to me while we were out for ice cream to tell me how thankful she was to see children like Jack who were well behaved.  I'm grateful she took the time to share that with me.

Moses (Bobes, more often) is getting into everything now that he's mobile and almost walking. He's taken about five steps, but tends to prefer crawling. If you scold him when he's touching something he shouldn't, he gives you a crooked little grin and then does it again. Oi ve. But I know there's not real mischevious nature behind it, just a playful nature. Moses has the best laugh once you get him going - it's right from the belly. I look foward to the day where he and I can have a conversation and he and Jack can be eachother's best friend.

The end.

Moses' Birthday

I remember having big plans for Jack's birthday: lots of decorations + good food + guests.  But then I was faced with the cost of feeding a large group of people and suddenly it seemed a bit unrealistic. The paper products alone cost about $50, and when all was said and done the total expenses for the party were over $100. And Jack doesn't even remember the event so... lesson learned.

So as much I was would have LOVED to have everyone that is special to us attend our celebration of Moses' first year of life, I knew it wasn't practical considering we are so tight on money these days. Instead we chose to keep it very simple with only family and our church small group in attendance. We kept it inexpensive by keeping decorations limited to one, lone "Happy Birthday" sign and using leftover plates and napkins from Jack's birthday. My mom wanted to provide something small for the little guests, so she filled these paper bags with some goodies and I decorated them.

My mom also let us host the party at her house and offered to buy the birthday cake and some refreshments. Tim's mom provided almost all the food - which was amazing - aside from some egg salad we made and some delish coleslaw I asked my sister bring. Basically, all we spent on the party was the cost of a carton of eggs.

Frivolities aside, between delicious food, the cake and the gift opening I think Moses enjoyed himself. So much so that promptly after opening his gifts he went down for a nap.

Sounds like a perfect birthday to me!

Moses is One (almost)

It's not Moses's birthday until Saturday,
but I wanted to write this now before time + opportunity got away from me.

Dear Moses,

It seems as if you've always been a part of us, so it's strange to think that it's been a mere 12 months since we welcomed you into this world.

I remember your birth day was so unlike your brother's in that, because the experience of giving birth wasn't new, I was filled with peace instead of fear and confidence instead of concern. Of course, from your point of view the whole process was completely reason for fear, concern and outright anger. So upset were you by the way you were handled in the first few moments of life, you turned blue with rage and it took over an hour to calm you down. I promise had I not been laying paralyzed on an operating table, I would have done everything in my power to soothe your worried soul.

Since then you have become a pretty easy going, happy little guy. You are such a sweetheart, Bobes (who would have thought, thanks to Jack, that this nickname would stick.) We love your big smile and your sweet yet sensitive soul, your big blue eyes and your big adorable front teeth. You captured my heart in a way I never expected and I love that you're my baby. I often say to your dad that I would prefer if you just stayed the size you are now so I could cuddle you for always.

As we approach your first birthday, you are also approaching some other milestones. Not only are you catching up to your big brother in size (he better watch out!) you're also on the cusp of taking your first steps and perhaps even saying your first word. You just learned how to clap which is adorable. You love to play with toys, especially ones with lights and sounds. You love to eat a large variety of food and usually clean your plate; your favorite snacks are clementine oranges and crackers. You like to scoot around in your walker and tend to zero in on all the objects you aren't supposed to touch. When we tell you "no" you turn to look at us and then a little mischievous grin spreads across your face before you carry on with your naughtiness.  What a guy!

I can't wait to watch you grow into a little boy so I can hear what you have to say and watch you interact with our family - especially Jack. I also can't wait to read books together and play games and everything else that comes with having two little boys.

But for now, I am thankful for who you are, just as you are - my one year old little baby. I cherish all my cuddles with you and the way you press your head into my shoulder or cling to my arm, or smile when you see me. I love that you love me and I love that you are my baby and I am your mother.

God has so very much blessed us with your sweet little soul. I pray that He continues to protect you and bless you, that you come to love Him and that you one day receive His Son as your Lord and Savior. I pray that you learn to walk in His ways and that you grow to be a man after God's own heart.

I love you little man. 

You are such a miracle.

Yeah, about that...

Day 6 of 31 Days of William Morris:

I fail miserably.

Guys, it was just a bad week to commit to an attention-to-detail kind of project. As I mentioned earlier this week, my dad had quadruple bypass surgery and that, among a few other pressing things, just took up all my time and mental energy. So I'm going to bow out now because I know with how busy our schedule is this month, it's just not practical for me to try and complete projects + blog about them in such a short time span. I'll continue to work on them as I find the time and then post if I feel they're worthy of highlighting; i.e. probably not the before/after of my sock drawer.

As a consolation post, I'll tell you about the time we took Jack to the historical village:

First, we stopped by the craft tables so Jack could make a buckeye necklace (as seen in pictures below) and I could make a turkey door hanger thingy AND a pine cone door hanger with a bell. I mean, free holiday decor. I'll take it. Even if it's for the kids. Then Jack spotted the animals and wanted to pet them.

 Then he wanted to make some good old fashioned rope. Tim helped. The sun hurt his eyes, I guess.

They tested its strength to make sure these people pretending to be from olden days knew what they were doing. Apparently they did.

We stopped for photo ops along the way with Aunt Katie and Grandma. Whenever possible, Jack took the opportunity to poke Moses. Or, in the picture with Tim, look like he was having the worst time ever (false: he was not). 

In the case of this family photo (our one and only...seriously. For a number of reasons, including - mostly - I don't photograph well) Jack chose to cut the shenanigans and without any prompting, carefully place his hand on Moses' shoulder. It's as if he somehow knew it's "what you do" for a family portrait. Moses, with this same uncanny sense of etiquette, turned and smiled at exactly the right moment.  I think they conferred privately beforehand knowing it was now or never - if not for this one picture, there may never be photographic evidence we belonged together.

After this, we stopped by the schoolhouse and sat the boys in the little desks which, much like the Sorting Hat at Hogwarts, seemed to determine their futures as students: Jack - fun, intelligent, a little mischievous. Moses - happy, good listener, teacher's pet.

We closed the afternoon with some apple cider and popcorn while listening to a brass quartet play. Jack ate almost an entire bag of popcorn himself and then led my mother-in-law very purposely by the hand back towards the popcorn machine where I was sure he was going to ask for more. Instead, he walked straight to the garbage can, dropped in his empty bag and headed back to our table without another word. As a staunch anti-litterbug, it was a proud moment.

For the price of 50 cent refreshments + that $1 raffle ticket for a hand-made quilt (we did not win), we had one of those priceless afternoons they tell you about in Mastercard ads. Except better.

Moses Eats.

Moses loves food. He also has two teeth now, which means he's broadening his palette and sampling from the world of crunchy foods. Today's selection is the Heinen's brand Golden Rounds Crackers. He ate three in a row, without me needing to break them into little pieces. Just took em' whole, like a man. Judging by all his happy munching and lip-smacking, I'd say these crackers were a winner.

On Adjustments

I swear I won't keep posting about my kids. I try not to be one dimensional on here and if you know me in "real life" you know that I'm not known for going on about my kids all day (right?!?).  But for now, here's another post about parenthood.

On Adjustments for Jack:

A month or two ago we took the side off of Jack's bed, converting it into a toddler bed. We felt he was ready for it. Plus, when we go up to Ontario next month to stay at the cottage we figured it would be easier to have him sleep in a normal bed than have to worry about bringing the pack and play. The first few weeks were smooth sailing: he never got out of bed (amazing!) and he seemed to really enjoy the fact that he had the ability to climb in and out of his bed during the day. Then the light bulb went off in his head that if he could get in and out during the day, that also included nap times and bed time! Freedom! Except it was really frustrating for us (and slightly creepy if you remember this).  Last night he got out of bed at midnight and then again at 5:45 this morning. And finally I'd had enough and Tim put the side back up and that was that. It was time to admit defeat for now and wait until he's a little older and more comprehensive. Jack took his revoked freedom with an air of grace when he saw his crib after breakfast. It might be a different story once he realizes he's trapped in their for bedtimes.

On Adjustments for Moses:

As you may remember, despite my best efforts, I had to stop breastfeeding. It still bothers me but I'm thankful that the formula has transformed Moses temperament as well as his skinny little legs into chubby ones. That said, I've never been comfortable with the nutritional makeup of soy formula (or formula in general). The fact that corn syrup is the first ingredient was enough to make me search out alternatives. I settled on making my own (what?!) after finding this recipe which looked pretty well-balanced to me. I won't use it exclusively as its pricey to make. But it's a good supplement to the store bought stuff. The other reason I won't be using it exclusively is because if I was caught feeding him the "homemade brew" in public, people would probably think I was feeding him dish water. I mean....let's not beat around the bush here. The stuff is absolutely a grayish green color (a result of the multi-vitamin). Don't judge. 

The Boys and their Nan.

 This photograph is so honest, and I love it.

Moses: 6 Months

Moses is such a joy. This baby has captured my heart in such a special way. Our relationship is a sweet and simple one, filled with lots of kisses and searching out ways to make him squeal with laughter. He's a happy camper 99.9% of the time, rarely complaining and always obliging. Most of the time he just wants you to look his way so he can smile at you and show off his dimples. He seems to have found his place as the quiet counterpart to his very vocal and vibrant older brother.

Moses,
I am so deeply thankful for who you are.
You are such a sweetheart.
My calm and my comfort.

May the Lord bless you and keep you, all of your days.

Moses is King and Jack is a Dream

Has it really been over a week since I last posted? Where has the time gone? I think sometimes I also just don't feel like writing because keeping this blog seems like kind of a fruitless endeavor. I'm not sure what purpose it serves except to document the everydayness of our life in hopes that one day I'll want to look back and here it all will be, in one place at this address.

At the same time, sometimes I feel like there's so much I want to share on so many different topics but lack the words to do so, so I just leave it and wait until I have something good to say. Does that even make sense? I don't know. I just woke up from a nap and then ate crackers and honey and I think that combo is making me feel drowsy and incoherent.

But here's a picture of Moses to help make this post worthwhile...

Moses is SO king. I mean, first of all he's super cute (this picture doesn't do him justice). Secondly, he wears that awesome treehugger's "hug me" shirt so well, especially when it's paired with just a diaper. Thirdly, the child is a dream. I brought him to a wedding a few weekends ago and he sat in the stroller silently - wide awake - for almost two hours. It was a hot day and an outdoor wedding and he just sat there, sweating. Don't worry peeps, I know you're having visions of a poor Moses sitting in the sun and heat, silently suffering, while I looked on thinking he was having the time of his life. He was always in the shade and was fed part way through. THE POINT IS - he was so good. He's so good that I even considered bringing him to a movie theatre so I could go see a movie. I wouldn't be surprised if he slept through the whole thing. But of course... I talked some sense into myself and realized I'd be pushing his good nature into unmarked territory that I'm not quite ready to explore. Let's just say, we've come a long way from here.

And then there's Jack :) Jack is overall a very very well behaved little boy. But he's also very vibrant and determined. "Feisty" is the word two different people used to describe him while he was still in the womb and I think it's pretty spot on! He's fun, but he's also really intense sometimes (what two year old isn't?!) That said, I've been trying to remind myself about the importance of celebrating Jack's personality and "rejoicing over him" as I felt God tell me to do a few months ago. After all, on the scale of how the average two year old behaves, Jack - much like his little brother - is a dream. 

Of course, now I'm going to come to your house with my children in tow and Moses will cry the whole time and Jack will terrorize your cat or break your priceless antique vase and you'll hold me accountable to this post. I can see it now.

Moving on.... can I just say thank you to my sister Andrea for informing me about picmonkey?!?! Ever since Picnik shut down I have been missing fun photo editors - especially since everyone and their mother has Instagram and I'm jealous in my little heart over it. Well guess what? Picmonkey is Instagram for poor, iPhoneless people like me. Also a great idea from Andrea? - these glow worm jars. So cute. 

Alright folks, I got some livin' to do. 

The Story of Mother's Day (with videos)

Dear Jack,

For Mother's Day this year I received no gift from you. I was also not at the receiving end of any acts of service (breakfast in bed would have been nice). It's ok, I forgive you in light of these circumstances:

1. Your brother also failed in these departments.
2. You are only two and have yet to learn the functions of a stovetop.
3. Someday in the near future, you and your brother will consider Mother's Day to be the best day of the year (as all children do) and will respond accordingly.

However, May 13 wasn't a total bust thanks to your kind and loving father who made sure I need not lift my little finger too often. After he made us all a delicious dinner, we decided to go to the park because the weather was nice and a family outting seemed appropriate for the occasion (it was Mother's Day, in case you've already forgotten). When we got there, you spent the first five minutes getting across the wobbly bridge - as it turns out you are a very cautious child when it comes to playground equipment. 

After this video was shot, you stood around for a long time not doing anything. It got very boring. I mean, here we are at the park, it's Mother's Day (!) and you aren't even trying to pretend to have fun. What's up with that? Well apparently, it was because you were trying to have a bowel movement (yes, I caught it on video and you were not impressed). 

So after standing there for a good few minutes, wind blowing through your hair, silently gripping the bars for some leverage with a blank but flushed look on your face (concentration), you finally finished your business and decided you'd like to try out the rest of the place. In case you were wondering what your brother was doing the whole time we were at the playground...

He was making his serious face. Then he blinked. Then he made his serious face some more. 

I feel like this last video here really says it all about how much you and Daddy love me:

1. Because Daddy really didn't want to go down this slide but did just to humor me.
2. You went down while sitting in your own poo. 

Here's to many more special Mother's Days together!
(this post, if you couldn't tell, is all very tongue in cheek)

My life in 4 seconds.

Ok, seriously..seriously. I can't wait any longer. It's almost Easter. It's practically Sunday. I'm breaking my own rule and posting about the everyday because let's be honest, God is in the everyday and it's in the everyday that He meets me. This has been a good exercise for me tho - I needed to take the time to share my faith in a no nonsense way. I hope it encouraged some of you. It served as a good reminder for me.

So what have you missed since I drove off of the regularly scheduled program? Not a whole lot. Just a lot of children raising. Here is a video of what my life feels like at the moment - summed up in exactly 4 seconds.

I didn't even mean to take this. I think my camera must have been accidently switched to movie mode. Or I was just checking to see if the battery was working. Either way, it's a pretty accurate portrayal of what happens in the Myers home most afternoons: Jack standing at the kitchen gate begging for crackers and Moses screaming his tiny head off somewhere in the background.

Jack is serious about his crackers.

"Crack-uh?"

All day long he wants a cracker. From the minute he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed. He has my determined spirit - he will keep asking until he gets what he wants. It's effective my son.... your mom knows from experience. But maybe be a little less determined about the frivolous things in life... like crackers. When you're looking for a job? You just keep asking until they give you the top position. You're not even two yet though, so fair enough, I'll cut you some slack.

Speaking of determination, Moses is so onto the whole "cry and they will come" method. Boy does that kid have a set of lungs. He's is a marathon crier. Unless he's being held in which case he promptly falls asleep. Woe betide you who sets him down again though. Because the crying will commence once more. He also has the uncanny ability of falling asleep immediately after the stroller starts moving but will wake up just as quickly as soon as it comes to a complete stop.

Yes, life with boys is nary a quiet one. But they are beyond sweet and completely adorable and I love them.

Thank You Zantac.

Jack: the picture of milk-drunk
contentment, pre acid reflux

Both my children started out as content, sleepy, sweet little babes with nary a care in the world. They'd eat and promptly fall asleep (see picture to the right) and during their brief periods of wakefulness, they would sit quietly gazing out into the 9 inch parameter their undeveloped eyes allowed them to see. And then a nasty little condition called acid reflux would enter the picture and all that was calm became cranky and all that was contented became completely uncomfortable.

With Jack, the change in temperament happened sometime around July 27, 2010 at one month old. I know this because I blogged about it. I entitled the post "I spoke too soon" because I'd posted a few days prior about how "easy" a baby Jack was. Ironically, I started writing a post a few days ago saying the same thing about Moses - what a dream he is, how easy he makes it for me to transition from one child to two. It's as if the acid reflux knows when I'm just starting to relish in the greatness of my babies, that it decides to rear its ugly head and make their lovely nursing times into a horrible experience full of grimaces, tears and screaming.

click to enlarge

Thankfully, I was able to get ahold of my pediatrician tonight to request a speedy over the phone prescription of baby Zantac* which is what we used to help Jack.  Now, when it comes to medication I tend to air on the side of caution and avoid it unless absolutely necessary. But when it comes to things like Tim's blood pressure medication or giving my babies something to help their extreme discomfort, I make sure a dose isn't missed. So here's hoping the Zantac does the trick ** and returns my sweet Moses to his normal, quiet, contented self who's currently sitting in the Boppie, sucking on a pacifier and listening to Adele with hands crossed on his chest.

* I like how on the bottle they put Moses in quotations as if its a fake name.
** UPDATE: Moses seems to be doing better. It's still a little touch and go, but for the most part we're back to normal. Thank you Zantac.

Coming Home.

In the months leading up to Moses' birth, all Tim and I seemed to be able to talk about was how excited we were for the 4 day hospital stay. For whatever reason, those four days were like this blissful vacation when I was here having Jack. With everything that's gone on the past month, we were looking to this hospital stay as another little "getaway."  Don't get me wrong - it has been nice having four days free of any major responsibility besides loving on Moses. But I think we were both ready to go home by Day 3.  We really really miss our own bed as well as the freedom to go outside (Tim went out a few times - I looked out the window longingly). 

And while it was nice having time with the baby without having to worry about minding Jack (who's been with my parents the whole time) I think we both began to long to be reunited in our own little home.  Last night really confirmed that when, as my parents were preparing to leave, Jack started reaching out for me and crying "Moooooom!" It was heart-wrenching. Then I had to watch him crying for me, arms outstretched, as they walked down the hall all confused as to why I wasn't coming to get him. The front desk nurses witnessed the whole scene and I apologized for the noise, but they both looked about as heartbroken as I was and asked if I was ok.

So here we are, waiting to get discharged on a beautiful sunny day. I woke up this morning feeling (somewhat) rested and just so grateful that we would be going home. I'm sure the months ahead are going to be challenging as we learn to get into a new schedule and way of life, but knowing God is with us and that we have some pretty awesome family and friends to help when needed - I think it's going to be just fine.  

Moses.

Moses Joshua Myers
Born January 12, 2012 @ 8:43 am
8 lbs 9oz, 20.75 inches long

He's here! He's beautiful! I'm in love! I also have my answers:

Will I be awake for the surgery, or will they have to put me under?

Yes, I was awake!! It was all dependent on my platelet count (which determines whether you can get a spinal rather than general anesthesia). With Jack, it had to be 100,000. It was 101,000 that day. This time it had to be between 80,000 - 100,000. It was 79,000. One over, one under. God likes to work in small margins! Thankfully, the anesthesiologist felt comfortable going ahead with things. Praise the Lord.

What if I wake up and something terrible is wrong with the baby?

The only point of concern was when Moses wouldn't calm down for an hour, and his skin tone was a blue shade (he was pretty mad). They put the tiniest oxygen mask on him I've ever seen and sent a pediatrician in to make sure he was o.k (he was!) Moses had lots of mucus in his lungs (typical of C-section babies) so they had to keep shoving a suction thing into his mouth to get it out. I'd be mad too if that was how I was welcomed into the world!

What if I get a spinal and it causes paralysis?

Nope. Not paralyzed.

Is the baby going to be just as healthy?

So far, so good! He scored high on those.. baby tests they do (?) ... and his little body has been working just as it should. He's also great at latching on and eating, unlike Jack who took a few weeks to get the hang of it. He has such a sweetness about him too. 

What will he look like?

Jack (left) and Moses (right)

Just like his brother except he has darker hair and is a little more "serious" it seems. 

He's also got really long toes and fingers just like his mom!

Will the recovery be just as smooth?

Yes! Better in fact. On a scale of 1 to 10, my pain level has remained at a one and without the aid of a lot of medication. I bounced back from this surgery sooner.  Still waiting for my blood sugar levels to normalize, but I'm covering it in prayer and hope my pancreas will bounce back in the coming days/weeks.

How am I going to manage two children once I get home?

I have no idea. But I was filled with this overwhelming sense of peace and contentment the day after he was born. Fear had been replaced with joy and worry had been changed into relief. I hope that same sense of peace takes me through the next few months. It's also encouraging to see just how fascinated Jack is with his little brother - he likes to give him little head pats here and there. I think these little boys are going to love each other very much!

A couple of other wonderful things about this C-section experience was that in the end I was so much more relaxed as they prepped me for surgery as well as when I was finally on the operating table. Covering those hours in prayer is what helped me to stay focused and calm. Best of all,  Moses was able to stay with me as I was recovering from the surgery. With Jack, they let Tim hold him for about five minutes before taking him to the nursery for observation (babies of diabetic moms have to have their blood sugars monitored right away). Thankfully, they did this all from the comfort of my arms :) 

Today is our last full day at the hospital and while our experience has been a positive one,  Tim and I can't wait to get home and sleep in our own bed again and introduce Moses to his new home. We also can't wait to see our little man Jack, who's been with his grandparents since Wednesday night. We are so blessed and I can't stop thanking God for his goodness to us!