This is Me.

Sometimes I find windows open on my computer with old search engine entries. Like just a few minutes ago I clicked on a window I'd forgotten to close, and there staring at me from the Google search bar was 'Haley Joel Osment.' No joke. Why? Because I swear I saw him in a car commercial last night. I was wrong. For some reason I found this all very funny. I mean... its Haley Joel I-See-Dead-People Osment who hasn't been in a movie in years and I was probably the only person on earth Googling his name. But I'm pretty sure whoever reads this will think, "Why is she wasting my time with this story?"

Here are some other very critical things about me that I thought you should know:

I often get words stuck in my head whose definitions are unknown to me. By stuck I mean I'll be going about my day and the word will pop into my head and keep repeating itself. This has happened twice with the word diatribe. I have yet to ever use it in conversation. If you don't know the meaning of the word diatribe, look it up. I had to.

On the very rare occasion we'd eat at McDonald's growing up, I'd often go for the fries before the rest of the Happy Meal (it's all about the toy, peeps). So my mom would always say "Lauren, eat your hamburger please" because that's the most nutricious part of the meal, right? Twenty years later I watch Super Size Me and realize the fries were probably the safest part.

I hate shoelaces. They are what stand between me and going off and doing what I need to right this instant. I try to avoid shoes that have laces which is why I buy Toms and flats and flip flops. I have a pair of tennis shoes that I love but they have laces so its a bittersweet relationship. If there's an outfit I'm wearing that looks best with the lace-ups I'll stand in front of the shoe rack trying to decide whether I want to exert the effort to untie the laces (because you know I just slipped them off last time I wore them instead of untying them) and then retie them. In the time it takes me to make this decision, I probably could have just done the job.

That is all.

Still sick

I've been sick for two months. And not pregnant sick - just normal person sick. Except not normal because this chest and head cold is hanging on for dear life. It's resulted in a whole lot of laziness and lack of motivation across the board. On top of that, I am pregnant sick. Thankfully (I suppose) I just suffer from a whole lot of nausea that never results in a trip to the bathroom - just a whole lot of moans and groans and generally feeling sorry for myself. Speaking of pregnancy I have my first appointment with the doctor today to check on how things (or the baby, rather) is developing. This pregnancy has been one of shock more than it has been... excitement.... so I'm still sort of in a daze about the whole thing.

Oh - and did I mention that Jack turned 1 year old?!! I debated writing a whole post about it the day of but as I said... sick and tired doesn't equal much motivation to put things down on virtual paper. His actual birth-day was a quiet affair at my parents with dinner and cake (vegan banana cake) which turned out to be scrumptious and we had the joy of watching Jack literally shovel it into his mouth in the way that kids do. He got a dump truck and a pail with tools for the beach (we're going to Goderich!!!!!!!!!) which he was very excited about, as well as some nice outfits which he didn't pay much attention to, but we loved.

And that is the story of my current health and Jack's first birthday.

The End.

Design

With this new blog design I was going for something more spring/summer related. Still not sure if it works - it's a little busier than first envisioned. And still not sure how I feel about the header image. But I'm trying to build my repartee of illustrations to someday open an Etsy shop.

The sun is shining again today! I love afternoons when I can open the windows and let the fresh air blow in. Now if only Jack would fall asleep, I could tidy up the house and feel as though I've been productive.

What I wouldn't give for the fullness of a quiet afternoon.

Teeth.

A while back I posted a list of ways that I can be lazy. Today, two more lazy tendencies revealed themselves to me:

1) The little head at the bottom of my cell phone screen, which indicates that I have a voicemail, irritates me to no end. Meaning - I hate having to look at it. But not as much as I hate having to go to the hassle of pressing the buttons to retrieve that voicemail. Currently, that little head has been at the bottom of my screen for almost two days... and I'm still not ready to surrender my time and energy to removing it.

2) I hate the going to bed process. I dread it every night. Having to brush my teeth, take my contacts out and change into pj's is entirely too much effort in my books. And yet, I faithfully do it anyways.

I feel like I'm not the only one out there that hates both these things so I'll happily be the first to admit it. Is hate too strong a word? Ok, I strongly dislike. Speaking of brushing one's teeth, Jack now has two - TWO - pearly whites poking out of his lower gum. This means he's now the proud owner of a baby toothbrush and some baby toothpaste. Now I just need to be better about remembering he actually has teeth to brush. Here's a rabbit trail.... I remember being taught in school that George Washington had wooden teeth. I always accepted that as an "odd, but sure, why not.." kind of fact. I always pictured him having a full set of dentures like people have nowadays, except made of wood. But this begs the question of how those things stayed attached to his gums? Did he use glue? Was glue even invented back then?

These are the questions that trouble my mind....

Delay.

I have a bad habit of putting things off that should be done right now. A stitch in time saves nine? I'd rather just throw it out. Why put off for tomorrow what you can do today? The answer is in the question : because I can put it off till tomorrow, so I will.

There are very specific things I chronically delay on, including but not limited to:

• Pumping
• Drinking my "Mother's Milk" tea
• Doing laundry (until there's no clothes left)
• Emptying the diaper pail
• Getting up in the morning (hello snooze button)
• Getting ready for bed (I hate the routine)
• Going to bed
• Putting gas in my car (I almost always let it go down to "E")
• Writing thank you cards (a credit to laziness, not ungratefulness)

On a completely different note, I had a really weird dream yesterday where I was staying at some sort of youth camp that was infested with cats and I broke out into this really crazy rash that had a circular pattern and included bright red "growths".... ugh, it was gross. Needless to say it was a relief to wake up this morning.

Ways That I'm Lazy

Ways that I'm lazy:

• I'll let my laptop battery get down to "reserve power" before getting up to plug it in (even if the cord is within reach). Sometimes I'll just stop using it because I'm that adverse to reaching forward to plug it in.
• With any kind of bags + shopping carts, I try to time it so that I'm the last one putting a bag in the car so Tim (or my mom, before I was married) would have to bring the cart back to the store or push it into the parking lot cart areas. I hate having to push it to where it belongs.
• I'll drive around a parking lot for a while until I find a close spot so I don't have to walk too far.
• In the time it would take me to stand up and go get something in another room, I'll sit there for a few minutes contemplating how much I need it vs. how much I'd rather stay seated.
• If I need something at a meal, I'll wait till someone else gets up to go into the kitchen so I can say "Can you get me ________ "
• If I throw something into a garbage can and miss, it's very unlikely that I'll bend down and pick it up, even if I'm standing right next to it.
• I'll ask Tim to go get me various things that I don't feel like getting myself. This one I try not to do to much because that's unfair - even though he's a sweetheart and will do it without complaining.
• If I see something out of place, like a hair tie laying around, instead of putting it away I'll just take a mental picture of where it is so I'll know where to find it when I need it.

I"m sure there are many other ways that I'm lazy, but these are the first that come to mind.