Over the next 24 hours I fretted over whether or not to go ahead with the amnio. While, in my case, there is little risk involved with the procedure it still felt as if we were needlessly taking things into our own hands. I never want to feel like I am taking over God's role in deciding when the baby should arrive, and without the doctor's strong recommendation to back up the decision (though we had his blessing) I couldn't feel completely at peace about it. However, we decided to use the amnio as a "fleece" (see Judges 6:36-40): If his lungs were mature, than it meant he was ok to come out and we could avoid potential complications down the road like the cord wrapping around his neck. If not, God clearly wanted him to stay in. Even so, I still had mixed feelings the morning of the amnio and spent 45 minutes waffling over it in the doctor's office. Eventually, I had to defer to Tim to make the decision and it all went ahead as planned. Long story short - his lungs were way below the maturity level required and it was confirmation that we needed to wait. And wait we will until January 12 when I'm scheduled to deliver at 5:30 p.m. - unless I go into labor on my own before then!
As much as we were disappointed not to meet our little man yesterday (and as much as I'm so ready to not be pregnant anymore) we're already realizing what a blessing the next two weeks will be for us. For the first time in about a month, we were able to spend yesterday evening just enjoying each other's company (Jack included!) without some major concern pressing on our minds. Between anticipating the baby's early arrival, grieving over the loss of Tim's step father (who passed away December 17 from brain cancer) and celebrating the holiday in between, we haven't had a chance to breathe. And while the baby's arrival is still imminent and the grieving process is far from over, these next two weeks offer a much needed respite from what has been a very intense time in our lives.
One way I intend to spend the waiting period is finishing the few projects left around the house that I never had a chance to complete. Thankfully, one thing that did get accomplished was putting together the office (formerly Jack's room). I couldn't be happier with it! Here are some pictures of the end result:
click on the image to enlarge |
Lauren:
ReplyDeleteLove your blog! Happy you have some breathing space and a positive outlook on life which is awesome as you had suffered such a terrible loss with Karl passing on, God Bless his soul. How joyous having a birth in the family!!! We pray for a smooth and healthy delivery and for a quick recovery for you my dear. Love you lots,
Marie