One plus one equals...

In case you've ever wondered, the subtitle to this blog, "one plus one equals three" is a simple, creative way of explaining the math behind a family of three (one parent plus one parent...you get it.) I first heard the phrase a few years ago at my mother in law's house. It was Christmastime, Tim and I were engaged, and we were helping Susan unpack her decorations. There was a small plaque of the holy family and underneath read, "One plus one equals three." The phrase, in relation to us, was quickly (with tongue in cheek) changed to "One plus one equals three... if that" due to my uncertainty of whether or not I even wanted children. Eventually the "joke" became a point of concern and Tim and I had to have a pretty serious talk about the difference between "if we had kids" and "when we had kids" - I always argued for the former, Tim the latter.

Well, here we are 2 years later and clearly I moved from "if" to "when" pretty quickly. I've mentioned a number of times that I'm not a baby person, nor even a kid person. If that sounds harsh, let me define what I mean:

baby/kid person : someone (most often female) who likes holding babies, thinking about babies, can't wait to have babies, loves to play with babies, wants to hold other people's babies and/or likes playing with kids, being around kids, having their own kids, having LOTS of kids.

I am not any of these things, unless said children belong to close friends or family (and sometimes not even then) or of course, if the child's name is Jack Elijah Myers. And I mean that - I'm always amazed at how deeply I love my baby and how I oodle over him in ways I wouldn't have ever expected. That said, before he was born, it was hard for me to imagine actually raising children and doing so with flying colors. Thus, I felt unqualified (and still do) to be a mother. But, I could handle the thought of raising one child. Just one. Tim always wanted just one too. Perfect.

That was ... until we had Jack and then he wanted another. Wait a minute - I signed up for one! This was always my defense against the suggestion of adding to our family of three. He even made it one of his New Year's resolutions to get me pregnant by December (no joke, you can read about it here). I nervously laughed about this but had to admit that I didn't necessarily maybe sort of mind the idea of being pregnant again... although that's as far as I went - being pregnant. Not necessarily having and rearing another little creature.

Then we had a couple of experiences with parents (honest to goodness, lovely parents who we respect and love) who have 2+ children and seeing the challenges they face with that extra +1 made Tim rescind a bit of his eagerness over adding to our little trio.

At this point I'm sure you're wondering where the heck I'm going with this. Of course, most of you who read this space already know that one plus one will be equalling four sooner than expected. January 2012 to be exact. Yep - somehow a baby slipped in there when we weren't paying close enough attention to ... ahem... details.

I'm just under 7 weeks along, so it's still very early and we're holding it all lightly in our hands, but amidst our shock there is absolutely excitement in there too. And trepidation - I'm not going to lie. Two babies sounds like a lot at this very moment, especially since they'll be less than two years apart.

So I have to keep coming back to the knowledge that God is in control - this pregnancy is so much more about Him than it will ever be about us, and when the time comes, I'm trusting He will give me the extra grace and patience required to mother these children in a way that brings Him glory.

(FYI - I debated holding off posting about this until I was 12 weeks, but I couldn't wait to use the great little "Bun in the Oven" widget over on the right panel! Our baby looks like a little salamander at the moment)

Blossom Festival

For the third year in a row, we went to Chagrin Falls for the annual Blossom Festival. We all gather at Aunt Kim and Uncle Daniel's, meander down the road for a glimpse at the parade and then eat delicious food back at the house. This was Jack's first taste of a small town parade and we were curious to see how he'd respond. We had quickly handed him off to Tim's sister when we got there, expecting that he would start to cry, especially since he's not been feeling 100% lately, but were pleasantly surprised when he sat on her lap, quietly taking it all in as his little cheeks grew more and more pink from the 80 degree weather.

Also in the rookie category to the whole experience were Cameron and Ellie who tagged along with us - they are, after all, part of the family these days. I still can't believe that at the age of 23, Cameron had not been to a parade up until today.

One thing they introduced us to was Jeni's Ice Cream Shop (they'd visited one on their honeymoon), which just so happened to be situated in the town square. The prices were a bit high ($3 for one half-scoop. That's right... a half scoop) but as Tim put it, "Would you rather pay $3 for two scoops of cheap ice cream, or $3 for a half scoop of really good ice cream?" And truth be told, Jeni's ice cream is pretty high end. Any ice cream shop that sells flavors like Goat Cheese with Red Cherries isn't going to come cheap. And for all those unique flavor combinations, I ended up going with boring dark chocolate though the taste was far from boring - and ok, almost worth the $3.

Goderich, please

A good part of my summers have been spent in Goderich, Ontario - a place so close to my heart that it pains me when we can't go. This year was looking to be one of those sorely-missed visits, but a change in my parents plans just might make it happen.

There have been talks over the years of relocating our all-family vacation to somewhere within the States to keep it closer to home, but I always insist that it won't be the same. There's a legacy that exists within our family of summers spent at the cottage in Canada (not America). Returning to Goderich is a reminder of all the memories of old and an opportunity to make new ones with the up and coming generations in our family. It's a place to remember and reflect - to think on and thank Nanny and Grandpa, the two very special people who are no longer with us, but without whom the tradition might never have been started. My sense of loyalty to this place and pastime runs deep which must be why I feel it's an insult to suggest that we should ever carry on the tradition somewhere else.

All that said, I'm praying that plans are finalized to go up in August. Due to the growing size of our family (8 grandkids and counting!), we've had to up the rental to three cottages (we started with 1!) and seeing as this is all very last minute, it will be quite the small-time miracle if it actually all comes to fruition. I so hope it does. It would do my heart good to return to the sparkling shores of Lake Huron.

Hal and Jude enjoying the sunset :)

Reunion!

The newly married Philipses returned from their mini-honeymoon to some very eager neighbors: US! We've missed them and have been really excited to hear all about their first few days together as husband and wife. We celebrated our reunion with oatmeal raisin cookies and about thirty rounds of Dutch Blitz.

For as much as we've had beautiful, sunny weather the past few days, today we experienced a small taste of what middle America has been suffering lately; there's nothing quite so frightening as a sky that was as black and ominous as the one we saw today. My heart is aching for all those people who lost someone this week from the tornados, especially this family. I just can't imagine the grief that this mother must be experiencing..... Lord recover this little boy safe and sound. Comfort this family in their distress with the knowledge that their youngest is in your safe-keeping.

Linen Overalls.

Did I mention that Jack looked cute as a button in his wedding attire? Thank goodness for H&M, which is always faithful to provide some of the best sans-sports theme boy clothing I'm often in want of finding. Although, I have to say that I think the little brown sandals (Old Navy) were my favorite part of the ensemble:

The Wedding.

This past weekend was wonderful. Some of our dearest friends got married in a breathtaking location surrounded by some of the best people I've ever met. If I could marry Tim all over again, I'd take some pages from Miss Ellie's exquisite book of wedding ideas. It was just a perfectly beautiful day and I felt privileged to be a part of it.

M.

magical.

majestic.

Completion.

{sigh} As someone with an over-critical aesthetic eye, there's nothing quite like getting something to look just the way you want it to; that something is this page. The heading image is not my own and I have no idea where it came from (somewhere on etsy) because I saved it years ago.

I've been rather tired as of late and have just gotten one of those awful, scratchy sore throats so I haven't been up for much writing. However, there's no time to feel spent as we're approaching a very busy next couple of days with a wedding to attend and wedding guests to host. Our house is finally the kind of tidy I'd like it to always be - without clutter, and not because we just shoved things into cupboards and under beds. We actually organized.

Jack, of course, is blissfully unaware of the preparations going on around him and happily spills his toys on the floor while sipping pear juice from a bottle. A few weeks ago, during one of our blissfully sunny Cleveland-area days (remember those?!), we invited my parents over for a stroll around the neighborhood followed by a picnic on the front lawn. It was Jack's first picnic and he seemed quite content sitting in his spot, eating his puffs.

Design

With this new blog design I was going for something more spring/summer related. Still not sure if it works - it's a little busier than first envisioned. And still not sure how I feel about the header image. But I'm trying to build my repartee of illustrations to someday open an Etsy shop.

The sun is shining again today! I love afternoons when I can open the windows and let the fresh air blow in. Now if only Jack would fall asleep, I could tidy up the house and feel as though I've been productive.

What I wouldn't give for the fullness of a quiet afternoon.

Upon reflection

I'm absolutely, 100% ok with feeling as though I really only fit in with my family. Because some people don't even have that.

And when I see two faces greeting me at the front window after a long day of work, with one little set of hands banging against the glass in excitement about my arrival, I really do think to myself, "This is what counts."

So as much as I'm having a very "Eeyore" day, my life is full of love and God forgive me when I don't stop to count my blessings.

Disheartened.

There are times in my life when the people I feel as though I "fit-in" with are few and far between. Sometimes it is limited to my family alone, and maybe a very select few outside of that.

I'm in this season now and it's lasted for what feels like a couple of years. Or maybe it's always been the case and my awareness of it is just heightened for some reason.

In any case, it can be really disheartening. I've spoken on this before - about missing the people who make me feel "at home" and instead being surrounded by a crowd of people I'm always on the outskirts of with that horrible sense of wallflower awkwardness pervading my emotions. It's absolutely like being back in high school.

It sucks. No lie.

Am I really that unlikeable?

Maybe.