One plus one equals...

In case you've ever wondered, the subtitle to this blog, "one plus one equals three" is a simple, creative way of explaining the math behind a family of three (one parent plus one parent...you get it.) I first heard the phrase a few years ago at my mother in law's house. It was Christmastime, Tim and I were engaged, and we were helping Susan unpack her decorations. There was a small plaque of the holy family and underneath read, "One plus one equals three." The phrase, in relation to us, was quickly (with tongue in cheek) changed to "One plus one equals three... if that" due to my uncertainty of whether or not I even wanted children. Eventually the "joke" became a point of concern and Tim and I had to have a pretty serious talk about the difference between "if we had kids" and "when we had kids" - I always argued for the former, Tim the latter.

Well, here we are 2 years later and clearly I moved from "if" to "when" pretty quickly. I've mentioned a number of times that I'm not a baby person, nor even a kid person. If that sounds harsh, let me define what I mean:

baby/kid person : someone (most often female) who likes holding babies, thinking about babies, can't wait to have babies, loves to play with babies, wants to hold other people's babies and/or likes playing with kids, being around kids, having their own kids, having LOTS of kids.

I am not any of these things, unless said children belong to close friends or family (and sometimes not even then) or of course, if the child's name is Jack Elijah Myers. And I mean that - I'm always amazed at how deeply I love my baby and how I oodle over him in ways I wouldn't have ever expected. That said, before he was born, it was hard for me to imagine actually raising children and doing so with flying colors. Thus, I felt unqualified (and still do) to be a mother. But, I could handle the thought of raising one child. Just one. Tim always wanted just one too. Perfect.

That was ... until we had Jack and then he wanted another. Wait a minute - I signed up for one! This was always my defense against the suggestion of adding to our family of three. He even made it one of his New Year's resolutions to get me pregnant by December (no joke, you can read about it here). I nervously laughed about this but had to admit that I didn't necessarily maybe sort of mind the idea of being pregnant again... although that's as far as I went - being pregnant. Not necessarily having and rearing another little creature.

Then we had a couple of experiences with parents (honest to goodness, lovely parents who we respect and love) who have 2+ children and seeing the challenges they face with that extra +1 made Tim rescind a bit of his eagerness over adding to our little trio.

At this point I'm sure you're wondering where the heck I'm going with this. Of course, most of you who read this space already know that one plus one will be equalling four sooner than expected. January 2012 to be exact. Yep - somehow a baby slipped in there when we weren't paying close enough attention to ... ahem... details.

I'm just under 7 weeks along, so it's still very early and we're holding it all lightly in our hands, but amidst our shock there is absolutely excitement in there too. And trepidation - I'm not going to lie. Two babies sounds like a lot at this very moment, especially since they'll be less than two years apart.

So I have to keep coming back to the knowledge that God is in control - this pregnancy is so much more about Him than it will ever be about us, and when the time comes, I'm trusting He will give me the extra grace and patience required to mother these children in a way that brings Him glory.

(FYI - I debated holding off posting about this until I was 12 weeks, but I couldn't wait to use the great little "Bun in the Oven" widget over on the right panel! Our baby looks like a little salamander at the moment)