Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Rambling Thoughts.

This morning I feel like I drank five cups of coffee when in reality I've only had 3/4 of a cup. It's one of those days when I could completely destroy a to-do list with an uncharacteristic flare of overachievement. Maybe it's because I started my day with good music (Tim, I bet you can't guess what song :p) which always gets me dreaming, scheming and planning a terrific show of reckless decision making that always gets me from here to some other fantastic place in life. Is this making any sense?

I keep having this overwhelming urge (not just today, but for a while now) to come to a screeching halt, put everything on hold for a moment, and completely reevaluate where we are as a family, what could but has not yet been achieved, and where - if given the chance to be made into a reality - we dream of ending up. I'm not necessarily talking about location, but rather of mission and how we go about life; how we approach the possibility of living each day doing something we're passionate about. Tim and I would both admit that we don't do enough dreaming with God or exploration into what's outside the box we've somewhat created for ourselves. That said, this is a unnerving thing to do because you never know where God's going to take you. In my experience, though not without trial and challenges, it's always been into some wonderful adventure. Thus, my absence of trust is unfounded and completely unfair. I feel like I've talked about this topic a lot lately. Have I? Sorry for being repetitive. I often do a whole lot of thinking and talking and not a whole lot of doing. It's a serious character flaw of mine.

The thing about pursuing that which you love, whatever or whoever it is, is that it requires sacrifice. Anything truly worth pursuing is going to require some sweat and tears. In the case of pursuing God, sacrifice is not only required but very much repaid in full and then some. I believe this with my whole heart. So why I hesitate to truly pursue the things He has for me, for us, is beyond me. Scripture would chalk it up to foolishness and I couldn't agree more.

Well the 1/4 cup of coffee I had left is now cold and the pseudo-caffeine buzz I've been coasting on this morning is fading. My playlist switched into chill mode so I'm rapidly crashing into the moody blues.

One click to a new track and I'm back on top.

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